Drowning

part 1

It's been a few weeks since I moved in, and I'm sharing a room with Olivia, my twin and Renee. It's just as small as I remember, and it has the same sickly sweet pink walls, just now with slight doodles on, and some paint chipping off in certain places. The same bunk bed is there too, old and wood slightly splintered from it being badly put up. And then there was that pull out bed... that was mine. Because I was the youngest. Apparently, I was the youngest when it was convenient to Olivia, but taller than her when it was convenient to her. So I had to pull out my bed and make it every night, and then put it away and find a place to put my dog at and pillow during the day... fun. I was currently folding up my dog at and placing it in the corner of the room when mum walked in.
"Your going to have to find somewhere for that to live permanently, stop being lazy," she commented icily.
I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes.
She should be the one finding a place for it to live, I'm only bloody seven, and I can barely even fit the minimal clothes I brought, into the cupboard we had to share. And we only just fit in the room.
"Okay," I said in a small voice, but as soon as she left the room I dumped it in the usual position.
Her husband walked in now, Paul walked in, "you are going to have to find a place, but leave it there for now," he said.
I just nodded, they seem to like it when I'm quiet, so I keep it that way.

Sorry this is short a lots on my mind, my dad's lives halfway across England and I don't see him much. But when I do it throughout social services. Anyways I got to see him yesterday after school and my little sister and my little brother was there who my sister I haven't seen in nearly 7 years and I've never even met my little brother and I wasn't even aloud to say hi to them. And it just tore me apart because they were just there and I could only look at them. And when I had to go home I walked past where they and my step mum were waiting for my dad and Baylea my sister had drawn me a picture... I couldn't even say thank you. Anyway I was in tears about this all the way home and when I got home and my foster carer asked why I was crying I told her. And she blamed it on my dad and then told me I had ruined future contact with him because I was upset because I couldn't speak to my own family. I am flat out refusing to be in the same room as her or my other carer now. They keep slaging off my family and I hate it. And the big reason I should be upset is because Baylea is only my step sister and Christopher is only my half brother. But that's like saying my four little half brothers I do get to see aren't related to me properly. It just really missed me off. Because I have never thought of them as just step or half sibling, and I never will