Remember

I sat on the cold, hardwood bench. My body breaking out in cowardly shivers, and my vision blurred, from the tears beginning to well up. My grandmother sat beside me, a woman i cannot say i remember, or could feel anything for. Her lips were thin, and desperately needed some lip balm. Her skin was wrinkled, as any old women's was, and her hair was a grey color, that hung limply at the side of her head, she also had the most piercing glare i had seen, and i daren't look her in the eye.

I wondered why she was here, she had refused to talk to my mum ever since she became pregnant with me, so it was no wonder why she loathed me deeply. I knew why she was so angry with my mother, he anger was more toward my dad, a man i had never met.

My father, was someone i least wanted to meet, in fact i was glad my mum had rid of him, unfortunately after she fell pregnant.

I was of course to blame, in my grandmother's point of view. She was angry at my mother, but more at me, for being alive. An awkward, unbreakable silence hung between us, i daren't make conversation, for there was nothing to say. My grandmother, instead glared forward, i was surprised she haden't bore a hole is the vase she was staring at, in order to show no interest in her granddaughter sitting next to her.

The church was silent, apart from the bellowing echo of the vicar, whose voice was more that irritating. I had intended to listen to his words, i wanted to, but i couldn't concentrate. Instead i was staring at the wooden box, that lay only a few meters away, in this 'box', there was my mum. The coffin was wrapped in flowers, and bouquets, given to her by the few that knew her, my white rose wreath lay in the middle, a place i thought would be best.

The service ended to quickly for my liking, and before i knew it, my mothers coffin was being lowered down, and was soon no longer visible. I wanted to jump in their with her, to lie next to her, for her to suddenly burst up, and start laughing, saying how she was only joking, and she'd jump out with me, and she'd be my mum again. my mum, a women who went missing quiet a few years ago. A women who was taken over by the drugs, and alcohol she had drowned herself in.

I had no clue what to do with myself, my grandmother had got up, and left, without a single word, the moment the service was over. She brushed past me like i was invisable, something i couldn't care for at the time, instead my eyes were fixed on the place my mother's coffin formerly sat.

I would of probably been there for the rest of the day, if a small tap haden't interrupted my distant thoughts. I swung round, which made the tall, light haired lady behind me jump suddenly.

She laughed after her fright, but i couldn't join her laughter.

' I'm Katrina, or Kat, you must be Cameron?', my only response was a nod, for i had nothing to say.

' I'm your new foster mum', she smiled, her perfect, pearly teeth glistened under the lights. She was pretty, for her age. She must of been in her late forty's, she had sharp, blue eyes, with dirty blond colored hair, which was pulled back into a tight ponytail. She wore a plain white tank top, with blue, denim jeans, and a black cardigan.

Before i knew it, i was being carted off into a white, rusty old van, which spluttered, when Kat revved up the engine. It haden't orcurred to me, that i was getting in some random womans car, being driven of to the airport, where i would fly off to another country, miles away from my mother, until my phone started buzzing in my pocket.

I pulled it out, the caller ID reading, 'Rani', my social worker. I Answered with a plain, 'hello?'. As per usual, she started on her long speeches, making it impossible to get a word in edge ways. ' Are you with Kat? good, she is really lovely, i have been to her house, and met everyone, how are you getting along? is everything fine? well, i know it's hard for you...', i threw the phone on my lap, and switched the car radio on lazily, not in the mood for manners.