You can make promises all you want. But here's the fact of the matter, promises are made to be broken. Promise other people that you are okay. Promise other people that you won't starve yourself. Promise other people that you won't cut. Promise other people you won't try to commit again. I promised I wouldn't do it again. I know I did. I swore I never would. But I can't keep that promise anymore.
I promised I was okay. I lied, I'm not.
I promised I wouldn't starve myself. I lied, I am.
I promised I wouldn't cut. I lied, I did.
I promised I wouldn't try to commit again. I lied, I did without knowing it.
I haven't been okay for a long long time. I haven't eaten right in even longer. I cut again today but I swear I hadn't thought it before. Though now I remember why I did it all the time. I tried to die this week, I took too many pills. At the time I thought nothing of it but now I realize just how bad it was.
I made promises and I didn't keep them...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
