Black Out

Surprises Are Indeed A Bitch

"Rain! Stop!"

Jeremy yelled to me as we emptied the ER Unit into the parking lot. I was so angry. Mathana had lied to me. It wasn't the first time. Why did I ever believe her? Of course she's dead. Why can't I accept that? You won't. Well, why won't I?

"What, Jeremy?" I turned, furious as Jeremy caught up to me. It wasn't the fact that I was mad at Jeremy that made me snap at him, it was that I was mad I let myself believe the false Mathana convinced me was truth. Mind, not Mathana. Right. Jeremy laid his hand on my shoulder.

"Tell me how a hospital would have helped you! An ICU Unit at that." Though Jeremy was yelling, he was calm. Just trying to understand my thought process for this wild detour to school. He couldn't possibly understand what I am doing. Nobody could. I'm alone again, just like before I met Mathana as a child.

"Rain, I'm waiting." His tone was smooth. I stared at him pondering which truth I should tell him. The one I've told Mother or the one I told myself. It didn't matter.

"It was a total bust so forget it." I finally said. Jeremy wouldn't let it go. He was begging for the truth, like a dog with a bone.

"No! Tell me now."

"It's better if it's a secret that I only keep." I replied, almost breaking again. I have cried too many times this week. I am allowed to though, right?

"Is it? Because one person doesn't cause someone to cry this much, Rain!" Jeremy shot back. I opened my mouth, feeling my eyebrows connect automatically. I know he didn't mean harm, but my emotions got the better of me. My teenage angst.

"You-You haven't been through what I have, you're not entitled to make that accusation, especially about this." I quickly turned my back to him and walked away.

"You are going to tell me what is really wrong with you and why we had to come to a damned hospital instead of going to school." He said as he grabbed my arm and turned me to face him again. I rolled my eyes and looked past him. I saw a black-headed girl in skinny jeans. Her hair was a teased but clean mess. It reminded me of something an actress from the 1940's would wear. Her shirt was decorated with a OneRepublic logo on the front. My nerves shifted as she walked toward a Ford Focus. She looked just like Mathana. Her eyes, her hair, her walk. It was Mathana. It had to be. I had to...

"Mathana!" I ran to the girl and slammed her car door. Poor girl's hands almost got amputated.

"Excuse me?" She created a disgusted appearance.

"I'm sorry."

"So, that's what you needed to get to the hospital for," Jeremy said. "You think Mathana is alive!" I went to say something while he paused. We were in his car, driving to my house. I talked him into taking me home because we already missed the first two hours so we were absent from the whole day. He saw that I was about to talk so he opened his mouth again.

"Yeah, you need to go to a hospital. A mental one!"

"You don't understand, Jeremy." I tried to explain. "There's a long story behind it."

"Why don't you enlighten me?" He asked, sarcastically. I held myself back from yelling at him and cursing him out. He doesn't get to make judgements like that. Who does he think he is?

"Because you're going to think I'm crazy!" I retorted. It's not like he didn't know, or think I wasn't already.

"You have to be to think your dead best friend -that you watched go down a hole, I might add- is alive, walking and breathing!" He raised his voice.