Kellins secret lover

feelings

I lay in bed thinking of all the beautiful yet fückęd up things that happed today.
Kellin has a wife...
But he kissed my cheek. And that hug was pretty tight.
Dämn he's hot.
I can hear the thunder louder than anything I've ever heard.
I turned on my bedside light and walk over to my closet.
I haven't done this in a long time, but I get really lonely and scared occasionally.
I grabbed the box.
Inside were my most precious items.
My teddy bear, baby blanket, and my veil from my fathers funeral.
I grab my bear and head back to bed.
I turn out my light and instantly fall asleep with bear bear
(my teddy bear) in my arms.

*dreams*

"Sissy where are you? I can't see you"

"I'm right here, Jessy"

"Sissy help me!!"

"I can't!! Mommy help! Jessy's drowning! MOMMY!!!!!"

"Haley, help... *struggling for air* help me sissy"

"Jessy!!!"

*end of dream*

I woke up tears streaming down my face.
I could have saved her.
It was my fault.
Suddenly I hear a knock on my door.
I walk to the bathroom to rinse my face and slip on my robe.
"Hello?" I said opening the door to see Mrs. Rogers (my manager)
"Hey darling, you were supposed to come in at 11. Are you alright? It looks like you've been crying" she questioned.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry! I didn't know! I must have slept in." I said wincing at the bright light shining through the door.
"Its okay darling, I just came to see if you were alright." She said grabbing my shoulder lightly.
"Everything's fine, I didn't mean to sleep in. I was having a bad nightmare that I couldn't wakeup from." I said
"Well I hope you're feeling better soon sweetie, I'm giving you the day off tomorrow." She said
"Thank you so much" I said giving her a small hug.
"You're welcome, I'll see you Friday" she said smiling.
"See you Friday" I said watching her leave.
I sit on my couch thinking about Jessy.
She was my best friend. She was my twin.
Then it hits me.
Today is November 17th.
Jessy's birthday.
Shît I can't believe I fuçking forgot.
*ring*
*ring*
*ring*
It took me a second to realize my phone was ringing.
Haley
"Hello"
Chase
"Hey, Its chase. Are you alright?"
Haley
"Yeah, I'm fine."
Chase
"Need me to come over today?"
Haley
"Please?" I say letting a tear slip through.
Chase
"I'll be over at 3. Make sure you're dressed." He said
Haley
"Okay, love you"
Chase
"Love you too hale, bye"
Haley
"Bye"
Chase (my cousin) has always called me hale since we were younger because he couldn't say my name.
I wonder why he wants me to be dressed when he comes.
He knows I never go out on this day.
I set my phone down and walk to the bathroom and start me a hot bubble bath with Rosemary.
...
Once I get out of the bath I get on my robe and grab my picture box from my closet.
I sit on my bed with the box of pictures wondering how different my like would be if Jessy was still here.
We'd still have movie night on Fridays.
I really miss her.
I hear my bedroom door open and I nearly jumped out of my robe.
It was just Chase.
"God Chase, you about gave me a heart attach" I say looking down to see I spilt all my pictures on the ground.
"I didn't mean to spook you." He said chuckling, then looking down to see me staring at the pictures scattered on the ground.
"Oh" he says picking them up for me.
"I really miss her, Chase" I said feeling myself begin to cry again.
"I know, I do too." He said wrapping his arms around me.
We stayed that way for a while, looking at old pictures together. Then he made me get dressed
God only knows why
"Come on, were going somewhere we haven't been in a long time" he's says convincingly. What if it's my grandma's?
I haven't been there in a while
I hate her so much.
"Fine" I say throwing on my coat.
I'm blingfolded in the car. And for a minute the car stops and he gets out. I wait a minute then I peek through my blindfold to see were at a dollar store.
I hurry and cover my eyes again.
A few seconds later I hear the door open and bags rumbling.
"I'm back" he says putting his bags in the back seat.
"I had to make a quick pit stop." He says. And we continue to drive, it wasn't long before we stopped again.
"Are we there yet" I ask.
"Yes, but you can't peek" he said grabbing the bag from the backseat.
I hear it crumbling then he hands me something plastic.
The top feels kinda like paper.
It has a weird texture.
He helps me out of the car and guides me to the left.
My blindfold comes off reveling a tombstone.
**
Jessica Allen
1994-2013
Loving daughter, sister, and friend.
"It Broke Our Hearts To Lose You
But You Did Not Go Alone
For Part Of Us Went With You
The Day God Called You Home"
**
I look to see what he handed me and it's a bungle of plastic roses.
Jessys grave..
He was right.
I haven't been here in a long time.
I let out a big breath and kneel down next to where my sister had been placed.
This is one of the hardest things I've had to do in a long time.
I let out all of my emotions.
I guess time to accept she's really gone.

_________________________________Sorry it took so long again. I've been busy with school and work.
- Kristin♡