Hold On 'Till May

You know what's frustrating?

When you become an adult and you have a high school reunion. So many faces and you spend most of the night trying to figure out who's who from your old class.

Unfortunately when it's only been a couple of years, you spend most the night avoiding certain people that were once your friends. Maybe they won't recognise you since you're no longer fat, your hair is longer and a different color and your sporting a wedding ring, another's last name and you now go by your first name and not a nickname.

Trying to blend into the shadows on a such a night while you are by yourself is just as frustrating.

I sigh and put my empty soda can in a nearby bin. Guess I'll just go home.

Ha! What am I doing? I can't go home. I no longer have one.

I walk to a chair that's by a lonely table. At least this gives me time to think and possibly find a hotel for a few nights.

A few people walk by and I recognise my old friends. They're all smiling and laughing about something they did on their last day of school. I wasn't there, I was at the hospital with my dying brother.

I put my head in my hands and wait for them to pass.

'Hey, do you remember Ryssa?' One of them, a tall male with red hair, asks.

A girl's voice responds, the voice of my ex best friend, Bell. 'Yeah, I dont know what happened to her though. I miss her and I havent spoken to her since..the last day of school. You know, the day she was in the hospital.'

Tears sting my eyes. The first worst day of my life. I abruptly stand up and walk quickly outside, not caring if anyone saw me. They wouldn't recognise me anyway. I sit down on the steps outside, trying the breathing excersises my therapist told me to do. They aren't working and I can feel my lungs constrict in my rib cage. I get up and walk around the parking lot a bit, keeping an even pace to calm myself.

What is wrong with me? I don't even know why I came here. It was stupid. I shouldn't expect people to not gossip about past happenings. Especially when they involve the school's fattest, straight A student.

I stop pacing and attempt to go back inside and introduce myself to my friends. Old friends.

I swipe some black hair away from my face and try not to smudge my eyeliner or trip over in my vans. I'm greeted with warm smiles and laughing conversations as I approach the door. The hosts are the warm smiles. I give them a small smile as I look around. I immediately spot the small group of 2 girls and 3 boys. The girls are stunning, just like they used to be. Bell's even more the model she was before with her pixie styled brown hair, green eyes and small but tall frame. Maegen, who's mother owns an international wide publishing company, looks the part of a publisher, or author, with her glasses and neatly bunned hair. She too, has green eyes. I don't recognise the males that were with them, but one does look like Maegen.

I walk up to them slowly, plastering on my best, but fake, smile. 'Hi.' I wave at them softly.

'Hello. Who are you here with?' Bell smiles back, politely and genuinely.

Think fast, Rys. 'Oh, um, no one?' I reply, shyly.

'Oh. Well, what's your name then?' Red-Head says, raising an eyebrow.

Should I? Should I lie? 'I'm Rystalee.' I mutter out, hoping Bell and Maegen have forgotten my full name.

'Rystalee? Oh my god! You can't be Ryssa?!' Maegen squeaks out, throwing her hands over her mouth.

Well, oh shit. 'Hi, Maggie.' I laugh nervously, twisting my wedding ring on my finger.

'Oh my god, Ryssa. You look so amazing!' She envelops me in a hug. 'Where have you been all these years?'

I could tell you.. But no. I don't want to. 'You know, around.'

Bell pulls Maegen off me and puts her arms around me to whisper in my ear. 'I've missed you so much, Rys.'

She keeps an arm around me so she can introduce me to the male counterparts of the group. She points to Red-Head. 'That's Liam. My boyfriend.' I mumble a polite greeting.

She points to another tall male, this one has blond streaks through his hair. 'That's Ricki. And that antisocial prick is Lee.' She points to the brown haired male who flips her off. 'Ricki is Liam's brother and Lee's my step brother.'

I wonder why he looks like Maegen. Weird.

I mumble polite hellos before I'm,bombarded with questions. But the questions never come and we're all left in somewhat awkward silence.

'Well' Lee starts after a few minutes. 'I'm taking off. This is boring and not my thing.' He huffs and takes his keys out of his pocket.

'Lee, you are impossible. You're meant to drive me home!' Bell argues, grabbing his arm.

'No, Bell. Mum only said I had to drive you here. So I am leaving. Bye!' He walks out with his hands in his pockets, a frown on his face.

Um. What the hell? I nervously look around, pulling on my shirt because I feel so exposed. 'Guys I'm going too. I'll find you on facebook.' I mumble and rush out the door.

I hop in my car and starting driving off. Before I know it, I'm at some pub that's off highway exit 28.

I take a deep breath, and walk inside. It's late but there's still a few people around and the pub is in full swing.

Great, I think. I can just blend it.

I take myself over to the bar and order a vodka shot.

I may be homeless, but there's a few thousand in my pocket so Im letting go tonight.

By the time I've downed my fifth shot, a man has pushed himself through the assorted crowd to sit beside me at the bar. At first I dont pay attention to him. But after a few minutes of him staring at me, I start getting annoyed.

'Excuse me, but I don't think I'm wearing something of your's so why do you keep staring?' I demand, angrily. He stares at me, chocolate brown eyes widening momentarily with shock. Then he starts laughing.

What the fuck?

'Nice to know I'm entertaining.' I say dryly.

He controls his laughter enough to speak. 'Sorry, but that was so random. And I was staring because you're wearing a ring and looking upset.' He explains, pointedly with a slight Southern American accent.

Yeah I'm a widow. So what? 'Oh.. yeah. School reunion gone bad.' I share.

'Sorry to hear. Well, I gotta get back on stage. Meet me after?' He doesn't wait for an answer before rushing to the stage and picking up a guitar and singing.

He has a nice voice. No, he has a beautiful voice.

I don't even like country music. What is going on with me?

Yet, here I am, pretty much mesmerised by this amber haired, chocolate eyed man and his voice.

'I guess I'd miss you

But you aren't her

And promises are made to be broken' he sings mournfully, almost as if he's trying to say that it's real.

I wonder what he's been through.

He sings a few more songs before finishing for the night and making his way over to me.

'My names Ryder.' He tips his hat to me, like a southern gentleman.

'I'm Ryssa.' I smile at him.

Maybe tonight's going to be a good night after all.

*******

A/ N

Any songs featured (except one, which is the title and a song by Pierce The Veil) I have written myself so please dont steal without my permission.

Im also writing on a phone so excuse the lack of proper paragraphs and italics and shiz. lol.