Detached

Plan ahead

Acting on impulse is only good in some situations. Most of the time it's not really on impulse considering you've thought about doing it sometime before.The majority time the aftermath is what you need worry about. For instance, slapping a guy who called you a bitch could get you a bad rep for actually being a bitch. Streaking across a major sports field could get you on national T.V..or get you arrested.

They say not to regret anything because at one time it was exactly what you wanted. I find this hard to follow. I never wanted to leave my body it just happened. And looky here, I regret practically my whole life. Okay, so that's a major exaggeration but if I could go back I would.

Basically Axel and I had no idea how to go about this plan. What we'd come up with was to loudly announce that I liked Seb so that Paige would hear it, without being too obvious. Hopefully Paige would take the initiative to find him herself.

"Ready?" Axel asked me. I took a deep breath and nodded. "So who is this guy?" Axel said.

"Shhhh keep your voice down," Although I didn't actually want him to keep his voice down,"His name is Seb and he's gorgeous." I said.

"Have you talked to him?" Axel asked.

"Sorta. Through someone else's body. But when I get my body back I'm so going to find him." I said and quickly glanced up to see Paige's angry face. I couldn't help but smirk at her. It was working already.

"Why's he in the hospital?" Axel said following our unwritten script.

"His sister was in an accident. He could use some major consoling right now." I replied. My life was depending on these few short lines. One mess up and we'd be out of a plan just like that. I looked up to see Axel's deeply concerned face. He, too, knew what this meant. Neither of us knew when I'd be back to see him, nor if I would even be able to. I didn't want to think about that then. I didn't want to think about it ever. Axel was my best friend. My best friend who I might've been in love with. I may not have a body, but I do have emotions. I thought. And they were getting out of hand.

"I know who you're talking about. Can we not talk about his looks when I'm around?" Axel said and I couldn't help feeling like that wasn't only part of the act. 

"Well, what can I say? He's gorgeous." He shot me a look and I grinned. Axel gave me the "wrap it up" sign and I concluded. "It doesn't matter anyway. I can't do anything without my body." I said.

"We'll get it back, Willow. Don't worry." He said and we walked off continuing our scripted conversation.

"How do you think it went?" I asked him almost bouncing.

"Whoa calm down. Didn't you see her face? She's plotting already!" He said.

"Oh, Axel I could just kiss you!" I said and then realized what I'd actually said.

"Would you?" He grinned. I smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "Shall we?" He asked giving me his elbow. I took it and smiled.

"Let's shall." I said and walked with him to Sophie's room. There was a problem though. Sophie wasn't in her room. And neither was Seb. Nobody was except for a couple of nurses cleaning up."No, no, no, no, no, NO!" I said. "She can't be dead already! She just can't!" I was shouting. At who, you ask? I don't know.

"Who? Who's dead, Willow?" Axel was saying though I could hardly focus on what I was saying.

"She's dead. That's why he's gone. She's dead. I killed her. She's dead. She's dead." I repeated time and time again trying to get it to register in my brain. Axel waited in his patient way that most people didn't have. He held me when I slumped to floor. There wasn't one thing I was focusing on, but more like twenty. The big ones were that Sophie was dead. Seb was gone. Our plan was ruined. I might never get my life back, ever. "She's dead." I repeated once more. I didn't know what hurt worse; knowing that if I hadn't gone into her body she might have lived, or that I'd been the one who made it happen so quickly, or that I'd never see that beautiful boy I'd fallen so madly in love with again. Madly in love. Me. In love.

"You wanna tell me who now?" Axel asked. And I let out a sympathy laugh.

"Sophie." I said. "Seb's sister. That's why they're gone. She died and I killed her." My voice was a feint whisper.

"They're gone? But the plan-"

"Forget about the plan, Axel. I killed her!" I said. "That was me. I did it." I said.

"No, Willow. You couldn't have. Her body was dying. Don't blame this on yourself." He'd said to me. I'd known all along that Sophie was going to die. We'd all known. But that doesn't make it any more real. To say I died a little on the inside, or a piece of me died that day was a little too literal. I'd known Sophie on a deeper level than most, and yet I didn't know her at all. That's what hurt the most. Axel and I sat in silence for a long time. The warmth of his body was the only thing that reminded me I wasn't completely and terribly alone.

"Willow, we have to do something." He said. I nodded in agreement.

"Tell me they aren't coming back, Axel." I said.

"They aren't coming back, Willow." He retorted and I nodded again. I fell asleep in his warm, comforting arms.

Our next plan would be very well thought out before being put into action. I wondered why my body hadn't reacted the way Sophie's had and why I couldn't be normal. Your kind of normal, not mine.

I dreamed that night. I dreamed not only my dreams, but Paige's also. My dream was of Seb and I. We were on our first date and Axel was watching. He annoyed me so I killed him. It was strange. Paige dreamed of a guy who dumped her. She was crying. The guy was...Aaron Brown. Her first boyfriend. I was confused. The emotion felt in that dream was too great to be just a teenage heartbreak. I continued to watch as he left her alone walking towards a group of people. My group of people.

"Hey, Willow." He said to me and winked. I remembered this day, only I'd told myself he had something in his eye and not to read too much into it.

"Hey, Aaron. What's up?" I said. Jazz shot me a look that said don't do it but I ignored her.

"Just wonderin' if you wanted to catch a bite later." He said.

"Sure. You guys hungry? Wanna get a bite later?" I'd said to the group without noticing his discouraged face until now. Everyone had agreed and we'd gone out to eat. Did he really like me that much? I'd always thought we were just friends. It was weird seeing myself through someone else's eyes. The envy was outrageous. I could feel Paige getting heated. She was more than angry.

"I hate her." I heard her say and that's when it clicked. She thought I'd stolen Aaron from her. That was far from the truth. I never wanted a boyfriend. I didn't even flirt with him.

I left the dream abruptly without my consent. Paige had just pushed me out of my own mind. I rolled my eyes at her. Maybe some time at my old school would do me some good. A new plan was brewing in my mind and it was not going to be easy.

Hey All! It's Luxx(: Just here to send a HUGE shout out to two very, very, amzing people. And they are  CKsback and Vixxen! I so tottally hope I got their names right... any way they made the covers and pictures you see as the book cover and the first three chapters. So thank you sooo much!! If you ya'll get a chance check them out they do AMAZING work. Okay well that's all for now. Hope you guys liked the chapter!(: Vote, Comment, Rate <<<---- VCR lol stole that from someone. Anyway thanks for reading! I'll be uploading soon! Love, Luxx(: P.S. Yes that is the song from Whinnie the Pooh(: