A/N hey guys, hope you're all doing good !
i spent way too much time on a chap as short as this ?? same with the next update ?? so i hella fucking hope you guys enjoy this ??
song in the mm doesn't fit the chap much but i listened to it a lot while writing sO THEREYOU GO
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Louis wakes up that morning with a rapid heartbeat, adrenaline coursing throughout his body as he lays in his and Harry's bed. For once he's woken before Harry, the clock beside him reading a lame 9:00.
He tries his best to stay still, wait for Harry to naturally wake up, but after ten minutes Louis feels the need to move. After the dream he had...it's not right to stay still.
Slowly, he begins to wiggle out of the bed. Gently moving the blanket off of himself, taking in a deep breath before moving Harry. He doesn't mind if Harry wakes up, he'd love more than anything to be with Harry right now, but he wants to let him sleep. Harry look so peaceful and innocent, Louis would feel like sh.it if he were to disrupt his sleep.
When Louis makes it out of bed he smiles back to Harry, sprawled out on the bed, his head where Louis' chest was. He slowly turns once he's content Harry's fine where he is and makes his way out of the room, grabbing his hoodie (where he knows his phone and cigarettes are), and travels downstairs. The second he jumps down from the stairs he walks to the front door, stepping outside he pulls his cigarette pack out as he lights one and puts it between his lips.
The dream opened something up inside of him, something that yearned for that feeling again. The first kill, the first time Louis saw light drain out of somebody, the first time he could witness warm blood rush and stain the white snow. It was incredible, and killing still is, but he wants that first feeling again. That first kill.
Is he really able to tell Harry how he feels about this? They kill together, it's become their thing, what if he takes it the wrong way? Gets it in his head Louis doesn't want to kill with him anymore - which could never be the case.
The door opens behind him, abruptly putting an end to his overwhelming thoughts. "Hey babe." Harry smiles in greeting, jeans and a button up shirt on his body.
"Morning." Louis smiles, taking another drag from his ciggarette after he's pecked Harry's lips.
"Finish that up and come inside, I'll start working on the pancakes." Harry tells Louis, resting his hand on his boyfriend's arm. Louis notes that Harry can't tell that Louis' feeling off yet, deciding that maybe it's best Harry doesn't know his thoughts until he understands them fully himself.
"Alright baby," Louis hums with a nod of his head as Harry turns to go, "love you." He smiles to his boyfriend.
"Love you too Lou." And that's that.
----
That dream awoke him in late September, it takes until Halloween for it to return.
It's the same thing, same feeling when his mind takes him to that place. Sure, he can push the feeling down and forget about it. But it always comes back and hits him when he's alone and vulnerable, that feeling, that yearning.
When Harry and him are out for dinner he thinks of it, Harry excuses himself to the bathroom, leaving Louis alone with his thoughts. As he waits for his boyfriend he spots a boy who looks all to similar to his first kill, sitting alone a couple tables away. Louis' thoughts hit him right away, taking the breath from him as he remembers the first kill. As he grows needy for the first kill.
Harry returns promptly, sitting across from Louis; unintentionally blocking the boy from Louis' view. "Lou, are you okay?" He questions with furrowed eyebrows and heavy concern, "You look hot and your face is all red." He pouts, reaching across the table as to press a hand to Louis' cheek. The skin scorching hot under his smooth hand.
"Yeah," Louis nods, his mouth feeling incredibly dry, "just got a little hot, now I don't feel so good." He rests his hand on the hand Harry has on his cheek, moving it down so they're holding hands across the table, "Don't worry, I bet I'm just dehydrated."
"That fu.cking waiter is taking so long to get us the ice waters," Harry huffs, the anger in his tone catching Louis off guard, "right when you need it they have to take forever."
"It's alright baby," Louis laughs lightly, "it's busy here and I'm not dying."
Harry just rolls his eyes, bringing Louis' hand to his lips he lightly presses a kiss to it, "Love you Lou."
"Love you too Hazza." Louis looks down to the table as he smiles, a part of his heart hurting. Why can't he simply tell Harry his dream, how it's making him feel? Why does he make it so hard for himself?
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The next time Louis can't hide it no matter how hard he tries.
Everyone gathered at Niall and Kaitie's house, for nothing special, just to see each other. Louis hadn't been sleeping well the past nights, so naturally, he was absolutely beat. As they all sat in the living room, exchanging conversation and laughs, he snuggled into Harry's side and drifted into sleep.
The dream reoccurres, waking him up with a racing heartbeat and drenched in sweat. He looks around at his surroundings, quick breath puffing out of his chest. Nobody is here, despite the voices that drift in from the kitchen he's alone.
Laying back on the couch he tries to calm himself down, push the feeling somewhere else. Somewhere nobody, not even him, can ever reach. It doesn't work, leaving him feeling the same.
"I'm gonna go check on Lou." Louis hears Harry say, the sound of footsteps reach his ears. He doesn't think quick enough to shut his eyes, "You're awake." Harry smiles as he walks to Louis, a frown crossing his features when he sees how stressed and panicked Louis looks. Eyes wide and fringe stuck to his forehead with sweat.
"Hey." Louis croaks, clearing his throat right away. Trying to sound normal.
"Louis, what's wrong?" Harry questions with concern. He sits down beside Louis on the couch as he runs a hand through Louis' hair, pushing it off his forehead.
"Just had a wicked dream." Louis mutters, brushing Harry's hand away. However, Harry isn't satisfied with that answer, remaining by Louis' side with raised eyebrows and crossed arms.
"What was the dream then?"
"You know, I don't even remember now." Louis shrugs, moving to get up and away from Harry's questions.
"Louis, you remember." Harry lightly pushes him back down, "It's a dream, that's all. Just tell me what it is so I can help you."
"It was a memory." Louis mumbles, not sure why he's decided to tell Harry, but the words spill out before he can stop himself, "Of the first time I killed."
"Well, that's a good dream, right?" Harry asks in confusion, knowing the whole story and how happy it made Louis. He doesn't take offense when Louis says that's his favorite time ever, when he was alone, just him and the boy. Everything new and foreign and exciting.
"Yeah, really good." Louis replies with a small smile, "I just, I don't know, I miss it." He mumbles the words with red cheeks, seemingly embarrassed as he admits this to Harry.
Harry nods at the information, not saying anything for a bit. There's a glint in his eyes as he opens his mouth again, "That's alright to feel that way, Louis." He smiles, leaning forward he lightly kisses Louis' lips, "You won't feel this way soon enough." He smirks, kissing Louis again before he can question Harry's words.
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A/N aight thanks for reading love ya'll and hope you guys have a great winter break and all that shit
next update will be this thursday ((:
rhi xx
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