The Cowboys pregnant fiance

chapter 19

Cody had known that Sherilyn would look just like this when he told her.

Destroyed. Puzzled beyond measure.

Betrayed.

It was unfortunate that the truth had come out in this way but it was to late to go back now. Too late for so many things because he couldn't change history not Curtis's not his.

"A daughter?" she finally asked her voice just a creak.

Then it all came out of him, the avalanche that had started when he'd heard about gangster Curtis, the pain that had been threatening to spill.

"That ex wife I was telling you about," he said. " She's the mother of my daughter, Missy. Jolene and I got married too soon after meeting each other. I'd left home recently running away from my uncle Stewart's ranch after i'd read that letter about my adoption. You could say that I was myopic, focusing on what i'd always wanted to do, bust broncs on the rodeo circuit."

He tried to lock his gaze to Sherilyn's but this time she was the one who wouldn't meet his eyes.

Still he went ahead. "I was reeling but I found a home on the circuit. Nobody bothered me much about where I'd been or where I was going, yet I felt like were so many others like me there. We were an odd family and that filled the a void. So did the adrenaline rush I got from competing."

"A rush?" she said as if she had to utter something so it might as well be this.

"Yeah. A rush. See for a long time I'd suffered from my parents deaths and I needed....Well I didn't know what I needed back then. Uncle Stewart had always done his best to make me feel at home on his ranch but he'd never gotten married never had kids or been apart of any significant relationships. He liked being alone and I felt that about him. So when I found out I was adopted it made me feel more isolated than ever, and it wasn't to hard to leave."

"So you could find what you needed."

Part of him argued that he shouldn't be searching Sherilyn's face for more of a response that he should be as removed as possible, because it had always worked in the past.

But it didn't feel right. Not with Sherilyn.

"I ended up at the rodeo, like I wanted." he was still gripping the steering wheel and he let up on it. " I met Jolene after a rodeo one night. She was a buckle bunny but not in a way that meant she slept around. She was looking for love. I suppose I was too, in a way, and I told myself that I'd found it with her. But I was actually just too selfish to know what I was talking about. At any rate she got pregnant right away and when she told me the news I came out of my dream world and realized that it was too soon for me to take care of anyone...a wife...a child."

"And how long ago was this?" Sherilyn asked.

"About twelve years ago."

The moonlight was starting to invade the inside of the truck through the windshield and it didn't offer its usual gleam. Instead it made Sherilyn look pale.

Cody's heart stirred as if trying to tell him something but the careful part of him pushed it away.

"So you were only twenty one when this happened?" At this Sherilyn's gaze seemed to give off a little spark of optimism. "You were young."

"You are about the same age as I was and I cant imagine you being the same way."

And there went the flash of hope he'd seen in her. Gone. Just like that.

He went on. "Jolene had no idea what was going through my head. I shut her out. So when she asked me to leave the rodeo she said it was too dangerous for a daddy. I refused."