I could feel my throat close as my body laid across the cold hardwood floors, my eyes plastered up on the ceiling above me. My cheeks burned as the fresh air dried the salty tears, scaring my hurts against my flesh. Holding my arms across myself protectively, I couldn’t help but wonder what had gone wrong. Nothing made sense anymore. . .
One day we were happy. Truly happy and that’s an understatement when it came to my life. Never--since the day I was born--had I ever been truly happy. I was born a mistake as my father would say. I was left to fend on my own on the doorstep of someone I didn’t know.
When I had gone searching for answers--when I was old enough of course--I saw him for the first time with a family of his own. He stood at the dining table, a roar of laughter rippling from deep inside his throat. His wife who looked as beautiful as could be at her age, stood while clasping her hands to my fathers cheeks before pulling him into an embrace I will never forget.
I watched that night what true love was. . . And ever since, I’ve wanted it for myself. I wanted to know what it was like to have someone love me for me and not see me as a burden. . . As a mistake.
You’re probably wondering if I ever stepped foot inside the house or even saw him and the answer is no and yes. No, I had not stepped in but yes I had seen him and he had seen me. He saw me through the glass I had been looking in through. All he did was stand frozen before sneering and turning from the view outside.
Heart broken as any girl my age would be, I turned away before taking off back where I came from. Wanting to get a new start and I ended up here in Stratford, Canada.
Back then I thought it was the best thing I could have done for myself. Now? I couldn’t help but mentally smack myself across the face. This has indeed went from a great experience to a horrible nightmare I couldn’t wake up from in the mere moments of a day.
How could something that was once so great turn out to be so fucked up?
The words he had spoken to me before he left circled my mind as memories from the day I had almost gotten raped. The day was so clear and vivid. . . I could never forget it. I had been talking to my guy friend at the time, we were laughing, having fun and drinking. We were at a bar and he decided to dance. I took the offer and we started grinding, what any couple would do, when he began groping me in places I didn’t want him to touch.
Pushing him away, I tried to talk to him, to calm him down but all he did was pull me closer. Searching for help, my eyes traveled around the room but no one paid attention, no one cared. Scared, he threw me against the wall, meshing his body to mine as he held my hands up above my head.
I tried to scream but he cut me off before I could. I tried kicking but he blocked me from doing so as well. The tears burned my eyes as he smirked disgustingly.
“You’re such a tease Miley, you know that?” He grabbed my hair as he pulled me closer.
All I could do in response was whimper as he laughed humorlessly. I felt the blood circulation in my body stop the moment he threw me against the wall once more when the body pressed up against me has been pulled off and I turned to see Justin standing there, anger written all over his face.
And that was how we met.
He saved my life that night. . . He saved me form experiencing something horrid. But here we are and I am stuck in a situation all too clear. It was like reliving the moment we met all over again except this time? He was the one who was the attacker not the hero.
But all I could think about was the fact that he, Justin, was the one who saved my life. He saved me from myself and despite the bullshit he put me through, he loved me. . . And I loved him. But I couldn’t help but think. . . Was that even enough anymore?
He saw me for me when no one else could. He treated me the best way he could. He showered me with love when times were good. I was never gievn the benefit fo the doubt. I was always the useless one. Shouldn't he be given a chance too?
I didn't know. . . all I knew was that we had both made mistakes. Mistakes that could never be taken back. . .
Feeling my chest rise and fall as I replayed everything in my head, my breathing increasing rapidly, I clutched my chest, the hurt too much to bare.
Pushing myself to my feet, I gulped down the ball forming in the pit of my throat as I took a few deep breaths, trying to rid of the mini break down I had been so close to falling into.
Pressing a palm to my forehead, I could feel the heat radiate, burning my hand in return. Squeezing my eyes shut, I took a minute or two more to myself before opening them and before I knew it, I found myself opening the door to my bedroom and walking across the hall to the room all too familiar to me.
Grabbing onto the door knob, I paused for a moment when I finally built up the courage to turn it and push it open.
Looking up, I felt my breathing hitch as I found Justin by the balcony of his room. He instantly turned around the second the door opened and his eyes found mine. Biting the inside of my cheek, I turned a bit red as I noticed he was wearing only a pair of sweatpants, his chest bare to my view.
Opening my mouth to say something, I gently closed it back once again, shifting my few to my bare feet now fiddling with one another in nervousness.
I could feel his presence nearing me, his body heat combing with mine and before I knew it, he was now standing in front of me, his breath clashing against my forehead.
I felt the tears blur my vision once more as Justin cupped my right cheek with his hand. Caressing it with his thumb, I slowly looked up and into his hazel eyes. The ones that captivated me the first time I had ever laid my eyes on them. Biting my lips, I took a deep breath.
“I’m sorry.” He whispered softly,
And that was all he had to say before I broke down into his arms.
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Jileyoverboard's Author Notes:
Aw, Miley,, :'( Do you think Justin should be forgiven? ;o
