fingertips | kaylor

1.2

song: begin again / taylor swift

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The lightning was dying out and with it took the thunder. Taylor was suddenly wishing more than ever that she had a reason to stay exactly where she was. Across from her sat Karlie, whose name Taylor learned after her coffee was paid for by the woman. Taylor struggled to maintain eye contact with someone so unlike herself in that moment. Karlie reminded Taylor of who she used to be; of course, Taylor did not say such a thing.

"So, where are you from?" Karlie asked after a few moments of silence. In her hands she held a glass of rosy wine. It made Taylor look at Karlie's angular wrists, which were softened by warm gold bracelets that jingled when she sipped her glass. Taylor wished she has gotten something to drink that drew attention to a nice feature of hers.

"Hm?" Taylor hummed. She dragged her eyes back to Karlie's. Karlie repeated herself and Taylor answered carefully, "Manhattan." She drew a smile from beneath her lie. If Taylor was to capture the attention of this mysterious woman, she would not be able to tell her the truth. The truth was heavy and sharp and it drew lines in Taylor's heart until she couldn't feel it anymore. Taylor did not dredge up her past easily. She stole a glance toward Calvin, who was speaking quietly with a woman in the corner. He was the only person in the city who knew about her old life.

Karlie nodded with raised eyebrows, and Taylor drew her attention back to her. Karlie sipped her wine, then said, "You seem like a city girl." Taylor beamed embarrassingly, and his her face behind her taupe mug. "You've got this aura about you."

Taylor was flattered, but she tried to hide it. The two women kept speaking about little things; the weather, the subways, the coffee shop. Once Karlie was through with the small talk, Taylor felt it. The quiet wasn't awkward, but neither felt comfortable. Karlie kept her eyes fixated on Taylor's until both women shifted in their seats. "You know, I should head out." Taylor lied, standing.

"Oh." Karlie said, following her upright. Both still held their drinks. Taylor downed the rest of hers and set the mug on the table beside her, and Karlie did the same. "Well, where are you headed? Maybe we could split a cab."

In the dim and din of the shop, Taylor paled, sputtering out incoherent phrases to try to stop Karlie before she even began. "I- I'm not... Meaning to go- well, I guess I'm just kind of planning to stay, actually."

"You're staying?" Karlie asked, somehow finding the sense in the midst of Taylor's mumbles.

"No," Taylor corrected. "I'm staying with Calvin over there." As quick as Taylor was, she was often transparent, and Karlie raised expressive eyebrows as she turned to see Calvin chatting in the corner with a stranger.

"Okay." Karlie wanted to spare Taylor the embarrassment that would result from challenging her, so she let it go. Before striding out the door, Karlie offered Taylor her phone number. "This is just in case you ever wanted to talk. I like talking to you."

Blushing, Taylor accepted, and thanked Karlie again for the coffee. "I like talking to you, too." Taylor added. Both women beamed at each other before Karlie made her final exit, dashing through the rain and disappearing around the corner.

Taylor finally relaxed, her posture losing rigidity as she slumped back into the chair she had been sitting in. She scolded herself for even speaking to Karlie, and she anxiously mulled over different ideas of how to contact her. She stared down at the piece of napkin that Karlie had given her, looping letters and numbers spelling out Karlie's full name and phone number. "Tomorrow is too soon," Taylor told herself, running her fingers through her messy blonde bob. Why should she call her at all? Taylor knew that associating with someone as elite as Karlie would only end in disaster; Taylor never was elite, and she never thought that she would be. To her, there was no denying that, in reality, she was homeless and hopeless. How long would it be before Karlie found out and abandoned her?

"Closing time!" The manager began ushering people away from their seats and into the rain, and Taylor quickly slung her bag over her shoulder and waved goodbye to Calvin. She began walking through the rain and towards her lonely and makeshift home beside the café.

Beside a heating unit and under a string-up tarp, she hid herself in the darkness, burying herself beneath wool blankets. She pulled her bag close to her chest and strapped it tightly to her body. She could never leave anything at her camp besides the tarp and her blanket. The blanket, though, was wrapped up into plastic bags and hidden snugly behind the heating unit that grumbled beside her fort.

Every night that Taylor prepared to sleep, her fingers shook as she set up her bed. As she began drifting off to sleep, Taylor recalled that her fingers did not shake this time. In her mind flashed images of Karlie smiling and laughing, and the warmth of that glow was enough to keep her warm.