"I'm here to make you warm." He whispered.
He looked different somehow, Sophie noticed. She couldn't quite put a finger on what it was though.
"You may notice my new haircut." Thomas said, his voice like a thousand bass choir singers trying to hit the note no one can reach. As Sophie's eyes travelled to Thomas' hair she almost fainted from how bad it looked. He had cut his previously long elegant hair and now sported a Mohawk that only laid flat across his head. As Sophie looked closer her knees gave out and Thomas caught her. "Be careful, you might mess it up."
"I think your barber did that for you." Sophie said. Thomas smiled and wrapped his woolen arms around Sophie. She realized that she was still cold and could do with some high quality cuddling. As Thomas pulled her towards he couch where they now say, Thomas did something unexpected.
"I would like you to read over this contract covering what it means to be my lover." Sophie thought he was joking, but sadly, he was completely serious. The guidelines made Sophie realize how far she was falling with this man.
-No matter what season, weather, temperature, or occasion you must always wear a wool article and something with more than three pockets.
-From now on you will address your lover as "The Wooliest" or "The one with the most Pockets".
-From now until a mutual splitting between the couple, your only articles of clothing will be Wool sweaters, cargo pants (not cargo shorts), glasses, and the same pair of sneakers.
-Each time you touch your lovers -wiener, you just only do so with the wool sex gloves (provided by the wooliest).
-If someone asks about your relationship with The Wooliest always reply, "He keeps me warm."
-If you are found with another partner while dating The Wooliest, your side ho will be wrapped in wool sweaters then burned in the furnace at the bottom of the skyscraper.
As Sophie read the last page of 185 pages of rules tears were brought to her eyes.
"If you'd like to change any please call me by tomorrow at 6pm. If you agree then sign and have it dropped at my office. If not, burn it and all the wool you own." Sophie turned to him and nodded slowly. He walked forward, grabbed her chin, and kissed her cheek. Sophie could feel his hair touching her face and it made her cry more. He turned to leave, but spun before he reached the door. "Don't cry, wool doesn't absorb water well." And with that, he was gone.
YOU ARE READING
50 Shades of Stanton
RomanceAmong the sheets a monster roams. Hot and sweaty a man emerges from his room, and a woman soon follows. His chest clearly not defined by his wool sweater. His cargo pants pulled tight around the waist, in case they fall down to reveal his secretssss...
