Worn

Chapter 1

Well, here I am. I've been through the worse of it. Now I need to recover. This is the hardest part and I'm afraid. When I've recovered, I will open the little velvet box that Luke gave me before he died. I figured out that the church my mom goes to is the one I broke down in front of. When she told me that, I felt embarrassed. I guess it doesn't matter what they say. That's one thing I've learned. God is the judge. He sees what your heart is, others only see appearances. When my mom told me about her becoming a Christian and the benefits, I regretted leaving her. But she said if I hadn't left she wouldn't be who she is now. I have severe nightmares. I guess that's a good update. 

Last Sunday I was sick so I'm going to church for the first time today. I'm really nervous. I've never been to church and I'm sort of paranoid on what to wear. It's going to be really hot today so I decided to wear a cotton dress. I looked carefully through my clothes and decided this was nice and modest. My hair is in a Katniss-style braid and I'm wearing a pair of black peep-toe stilettos. Before we walk out my mom gives me a brand new Bible and I hug her. There's a class for young adults (i.e. 18-23 year olds) so I went. We worshipped together then broke up into groups. I was in the 18 to 20 year old woman group. I was having so much fun, but then we had to leave. After the classes the whole congregation meets to worship and enjoy a sermon together. I really like this system. I sat with my mom and a person I met in my group. Her name is Sam. She's really nice and friendly. I think her and I will become good friends. I can say that this was a good experience. 

We were about to leave when someone caught my eye. I recognized him from the worship we did in the young adult's class. I waved and he waved back. Then I look up and he's staring at me. I look into his eyes. I can tell he's seen me somewhere else, but I've only ever seen him today. I turn away to walk out. I only take five steps when I feel a strong hand grasp my arm. "Wait." He says before I turn to look at him. It's the weirdo staring guy. "Can I help you?" I ask him. He lets go and said, "I'm Michael, Pastor Stafford's son. I noticed you're new here and wanted to welcome you to our church." I smile and waved my mom off. "I'm Parker, but I prefer Park. Nice to meet you." I say and hold out my hand. He shakes it and I continue, "thank you for welcoming me. I like feeling welcome in a new place." He smiles and says, "My pleasure. I like making people feel welcome in a new place." I chuckle and observe his features. He has brown hair that's really thick and a little curly. He has beautiful green eyes. For fear that I'm staring I shift and say, "Well I hope to see you again soon. Like next week... I'm glad I got the opportunity to meet you." He smiles lightly and says, "Yeah, me too." He turns to leave, but I don't leave just yet. The way he holds himself, his charm, mannerisms, and friendliness: he's just like Luke. 

That realization rocks my soul. I can't bring myself to look at him or look away. I was glad he walked away because I started to tear up. I walked home really dizzy and distracted. I was a hot mess when I opened the front door. My mother was cooking in the kitchen when I stumbled to the living room. "Honey, what would you like for lunch?" she called. "I don't really care. Make whatever." I said in my awful half talk, half sob voice. She obviously heard me so she came rushing in. "Shhh, c'mon honey. Tell me." She whispers. I try to talk as clearly as possible, but I couldn't. Yet she understands every word. I guess moms have that built in ability. She waits till I calm down to say something. "I know you're not going to like this, but im going to have to ask you to become friends with Michael." "What?! No. I'm not going to." She sighs and says, "You realize this is an opportunity to recover, right? You need to start a new life. No Kat, no Darci, and no Mason. You have already made a new friend. What's one more?" I stop my pouting and get up. "Alright. I see your point. I'm going to be in my room." I walk slowly to my room and didn't look back. Of course, mom is always right. But this is something to sleep on. 

The next week was a blur. I quit my old jobs, clubs, or whatever I was in before I moved back in with my mom. This is part of my recovery slash new life deal. After I formally quit all that, I had to apply for jobs. All I did for three days was sign papers. I turned them all in and went to the Friday night service at church. I honestly don't remember too much. On Saturday I did nothing, but wait for a call back from any of the jobs I applied for. To my surprise I got two. Now I have to do a formal interview next week. By the time Sunday rolled around I was really nervous. I didn't see Michael at church on Friday, so I'm kind of jumpy. I have to get used to the idea that he IS going to be my friend. It feels like a forced marriage, but I bet I'll get used to it once we know more about each other.  

I wear shorts and a nice, short sleeved blouse with flats. I leave my hair down and walk with mom to the church. I walk into the classroom and look around. I don't see Sam. I groan as I see Michael. He's talking to someone else so I sign in and try to go unnoticed. "Hey! I didn't see you there." Says Michael's voice behind me. I take a deep breath and turn to face him. "Hello. How was your week?" I asked casually. "Good. You?" "Great. I applied for seven jobs and two called back so I have interviews this week." He smiled really big and said "that's amazing! I am so happy for you! I'll pray for you this week." When he said that it made me think, only one other person has said that to me.  

-I had been working all week. Mostly blowing off steam. Darci and I had a fight and Miss Mel is being ridiculously dramatic. It felt like I was imploding. After work I drove to Luke's house. I had dinner with his family and then we went on his roof. He talked about him and then the conversation switched to me. I hesitated at first, but once I opened my mouth the words couldn't stop pouring out. I told him everything. He waited until I was done to say something. I wasn't listening because I was trying not to cry. He saw me tearing up and hugged me. "I'll pray for you this week..."-  

I snapped out of the day dream. He had been talking, but I wasn't even aware he was standing in front of me. I remembered that night on the roof often. This is different though. I started to cry right in front of him. He stops in mid sentence and takes my hand. I know he's taking me away to save me the embarrassment, but I am already. We go into this small room and he locks the door. "Where are we?" I say blubbering like a baby. It's a stupid question, but I was really curious. "We're in the prayer room." He whispers. I try to keep my volume to a minimum, yet somehow the sobs become louder. He tries to sit me down. I steady myself in the sitting position, but I find myself getting up again. I quickly wrap my arms around his neck and cry. He hugs me back and we stand in the room. I'm not sure how long I've been crying, but I assume it has been more than ten minutes. I calm down and he says "what's troubling you?" I let go of him and say "you remind me of someone that I love. He's passed away recently." "I am so sorry." He whispers and we embrace again. "Of you need anything, call." I nod and say "okay" repeatedly. It was in that moment while I repeated myself that I love Michael. And it was that moment that I realized I need to protect him. I can't let him go... Ever. 

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Hey, this is the first little section I hope you like it. I'll update this everyday because this has been finished for awhile now. Happy reading!