Sincerely, Scarlett

02: Dear Aiden

Dear Aiden,

It’s a miracle I didn’t beat you up that rainy day. A miracle that none of my friends did the following day when I told them the story – of course, I did burst into tears but how can you blame me? You broke my heart after two years of our relationship. It hurt more than usual because you were the first, the first one I fell in love with. Oh wow, Aiden. My first love and you broke me – at least not as early as some of the later boys who stumbled upon my life in later years. Two years is a lot though, I must give you that, at least. And your cuddles made me want to laugh and cry and dance all at the same time. Your lips pressing against mine, though…I can’t forget that.

Why don’t I take you back to our first kiss? I’ll just let you relive our entire past, okay? I hope you’re okay with it because I know that I want you to, because it seriously hurts, doesn’t it? Anyway, there was an intense fog outside and you were at my house. We were all snuggled up with blankets draped across us, watching a stupid romantic comedy of your choice. We’d laugh at all the wrong places and every other time, be smiling at each other. Don’t think I didn’t notice you smiling and staring. Then, the ending music began to play as the credits rolled onto the screen. We were tucked into each other’s figures and we simply sat and stared for a while. Our gray eyes met in an intense moment and then we both leaned in with the same desires. I swear, I thought, then, that fireworks had erupted. Now I know that the whole ‘sparks and fireworks’ is a joke. A big, fat lie.

Oh, and then there was the day we kissed in the rain. And it’s ironic because that same spot, in the rain also, was when we broke up. Oh, and then there was out hideout in the woods, the damp part, near the waterfall. We’d hide there for hours on end, after your mum made us a picnic. You’d tell her, and I remember you telling me this distinctly, that we were going out and that it was a surprise. Your mum would laugh and say, “The park, of course!” For some reason, it all seemed so genuinely hilarious when you told me but, in reality, and specifically now, it’s just so not. It’s not funny anymore, like that little inside joke used to be but now, it makes no sense, as though I was pushed out of that specific joke. Though no one else shared it with the two of us.

And then was the forever haunted day. “I don’t think I can keep being in this relationship.” I mean how simple. No, “It’s not you, it’s me.” So maybe it was me. Maybe it was entirely my fault you walked away in the rain, leaving me standing there in shock, not being able to move. My tears mixed with the rain as they ran down my cheeks, your shadow fading away as the rain continued to fall in sheets of thin ice, supposedly. That was when I had the good sensibility to run undercover and continue shaming you, hating you and cursing you there. I hate you, Aiden. Forever will.

And, I’m positive, that will never change. Why? Mainly because you were the first heartbreaker that entered my life. But half the time, I tend to doubt hating you because you looked so hurt and sad when you dumped you. But then you just walked away and I will always remember that.

Sincerely,

Scarlett

 

She let a tear fall as she sealed the letter and slipped into an envelope. She then shoved it carelessly into the jewellery box before reminiscing in the many memories that she didn’t mention. The movie nights, the dinner dates, the starlit kisses, the hugs from behind, the classes together, the winks, the flirting. She didn’t mention the sunrises and sunsets they had watched together countless times, the way she never felt lonely. And maybe that was why she let that singular tear fall. Because in that moment, she is lonely and longing for a companion, longing for someone to take her away from this loneliness. The ringing of the home phone stuns her, her features radiating confusion. She walks hastily over to where the phone is now ringing loudly. “Hello?” she stutters, her voice a mere croak. The voice that replies to her must be a joke. It can’t be real, he can’t have found her.