Homestuck: The Novel

Scene Four

Chapter 4: Act II: Start Walkthrough

You click on GameFAQs. Filed under PC >> Miscellaneous >> Immersive Simulation, there are four FAQ/Walkthroughs for Sburb Beta. Three were written several days ago, but the one listed at the top was written today, April 13, under the pen name of tentacleTherapist.

Sburb Beta WalkthroughVersion 1.0, April 13, 2009By tentacleTherapist=============================== TABLE OF CONTENTS ===============================1. Caveats and Condolences........................... [0000]2. Walkthrough (Incomplete).......................... [A000]2.1. An Examination of the Basics.................... [A000]2.2. So your cruxtruder is ticking. Do this to live.. [A100]2.3. The Long and Short. The Medium too.............. [B100]some stuff about captcha codes and punch card alchemy [Z001]C. Appendix 3 -- Screen Captures, pt. 1.............. [Z301]?. Rose: Egress...................................... [ZZZZ]==================================================================================[0000] Caveats and Condolences==================================================================================I'd be inclined to dispense with the trite even under less pressing circumstances.Needless to say I'll forego the inscrutable ASCII banner which typically heraldsthe striking freefall of these documents. I'll also resist the urge to brandish anycopyright marks, or the particular neurosis that concerns itself with the theft ofthe utterly mundane -- I'll allow other deranged prospectors to stake claims ontheir worthless plots as the woods burn around them. My introduction will besparse. There will be no majestic prose blustering into the sails of a galleon aswe embark on this voyage together. Nor will there be any hamfisted prose whippingits limbs under a bedsheet like a retarded ghost, for that matter. I won't set thestage, or dim the lights. The mood, you will see, will be set soon enough.Since you are reading this, chances are you have installed this game on yourcomputer already. If this is true, like many others, you have just participated inbringing about the end of the world.But don't beat yourself up about it. There was never anything you could have doneto prevent it. The end is happening right now, as I type, and as you read. I havecome to understand that we were always doomed through our collective ignorance, andnow further doomed by those few who know, and struggle to flee. If you're lucky,you'll be among the smaller subset of the latter who are successful.What I mean is, while that game you installed is just one more grinding slab ofrock sealing our planet's crypt, it is also your only hope to live. I'm presentlyfaced with the same conundrum as you, and though I speak with more experience, myown outcome is far from assured. I will "play the game", as much of it as there isto play, and record my findings here. If you want to live, you will do as Iinstruct.My condolences.~TT