Open Letters

Dear Insecurities

A/N: This is my first letter and it was actually published in our school newspaper as an open letter for the students and teachers. It was put on anonymous tho. This is the first ever letter I've written based on my experiences-so yes, it is a true story.

I hope you enjoy reading!

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Dear Insecurities,

I have been battling you for quite some time now—give or take a couple years. You started as a small figment of doubt at the back of my mind. And then, you grew into something that makes me fearful of being judged by others. Every time I look at the mirror all I see and remember is you, my failures, my mistakes, and my flaws. I cannot already recall the total number of times you make me doubt myself and the times you would make me cower into a corner. Those were the times I was vulnerable. Those were the times I was judged. Those were the times I was labelled. And those were the times I did not need you the most, yet you were still there—and I hated it.

Every time someone makes a snarky comment about the way I dress up, you were there. Every time someone judges my eating habits, again, you were there. Every time someone questions the way I talk, still, you were there. Every time someone makes rumors and talks about me behind my back, you were always there. When will you ever leave me? When will you ever make me feel happy and contented? When will you ever make me feel confident about myself?

I started having you when I was at the age of ten—the phase in my life where I was carefree and did not care how much I eat or the way I look. But being told you were fat, undesirable, and looked always unkempt at that age really brings out the insecurities in you. There was always that little voice that retained inside my head saying that every time I turn my back, people will talk about me. So I put up a facade and a wall around myself to make me look and feel perfect, but deep inside I am just a little girl trying to fit in the big, cruel, judgmental world.

Students and teachers, I am not writing this for you to pity and feel sorry for me. I am writing this to open your eyes and your mind to see how being judged has a great impact on a person—physically, mentally, socially and psychologically. Being judged makes you feel like a social outcast—a pariah. So now I am telling you this, being judged and labelled is just plain and downright awful, especially when people do not even know half or have the intent of knowing the full story—the bully might have come from a broken home, the fat girl probably eats away her depressions, the nerd reads to escape reality, the skinny one might actually be suffering from anorexia, and the 'perfect' one just wants attention from her workaholic parents. All of us have different stories about our insecurities, so what is yours?

-ABC