October Jones

Chapter 1 - I Must Be Tough

I was jolted awake by the sound of ringing. However, it wasn't ringing of the phone or of an alarm. No, no one else would be able to hear this ringing. It was the ringing in my head that had woke me up for the past 6 months. A cold reminder of the worst news I had ever heard.

I'd been staying at my grandparent's house during the half-term while my parents, who were both lawyers, worked on an important case together. One afternoon I received a call from the local police informing me that my parents had not turned up for the trial and after 24 hours had been declared missing. That one sentence had sent my whole world crashing around me. The days that passed after that phone call were the longest of my life. It turns out that when police had turned up at my house to look for evidence they had found a crime scene. The door was slightly open and all the furniture in the house had been broken and threw about, I had even over heard one detective say they had found blood, although they were not sure whose it was. Hearing this had made me want to vomit. It had taken 6 days for the police to find my parents, 6 excruciating days of hurt. However, what they found, I would gladly wait an eternity than hear that news.

It was on the 6th day that I was woken up by the phone ringing. It was Detective Warren telling me that I would need to come down to the station immediately. When I had got there, my grandparent's in tow, I knew it was terrible news. The look on the detectives face gave it all away. We were taken into a secluded room and sat down. The detectives face was full of pity as he told us that my parent's bodies had been found 100 miles from here and that they had been murdered. He told us that he would do whatever was in his power to locate the culprit and make sure that they received everything they deserved. He attempted to reassure us and when he had given up on that he left us alone with our thoughts.

I could subconsciously hear both my nana and my granddad crying in the background, but I was caught up in my own mind. My face was a fortress, portraying no emotion, while inside my head was like a whirlwind. Grief, sadness, disbelief, anger and hatred, all rolled into one. The realization hit me, I would need to be tough now, my parents had been tough for me and now it was my turn to take on that roll. My grandparent's would need me to be this way; I would need to be their rock, to help keep us all grounded and sane.

The next two week passed by in a blur. I attended my parents funeral were I was continuously told how sad my situation was and how everyone was here for me. But in the end no one was there for me, in every direction I looked I saw pitiful eyes and sorrowful expressions, but no one was a constant support. My grandparent's tried to be, but I could sense the fragility of their own minds. That's why I had to be the support, the rock for their sake and mine.

Eventually I had to go back to school. My friends were the same, they tried to be understanding, watching everything they said and did, afraid that at any minute I would break down the walls I had built and let loose a tirade of raw emotion, but that never happened. Soon people began to talk; they couldn't understand my cold and hard exterior. Of course people were nice to my face, but behind my back I was called things like heartless and cold. I even heard one obnoxious boy refer to me as damaged goods.

In time my friends gave up trying to console me, in fact they gave up being my friends all together. I didn't blame them for this decision; in fact I was comforted with the knowledge that in the same situation I would most likely do the same. I was the worst company to be around, I didn't laugh, I didn't cry, I didn't do anything. But that was the way it had to be.

Now here I was, waking up in the middle of the night, tear-stained cheeks and phantom sounds plaguing my mind. Sleep was the only time I cried, it was the one time I had no control over my emotions. At first I had tried to rein it in, but ultimately I gave up and allowed myself the indulgence of releasing my emotions in the privacy and intimacy of the night. It was the only way I could stay sane whilst still managing to support my nana and granddad during our time of grief.

It was only 4 in the morning, but I couldn't bring myself to fall back asleep, I was too afraid of the images my mind would conjure up. So I stayed there, until it was an acceptable time to rise on a Saturday morning. I sat at the kitchen table staring at a bowl of corn flakes, lost to my own thoughts, feeling too ill to eat. I by chance lifted my eyes to find my nana staring at me with a look, not of pity which I was accustomed to, but of worry. She opened her mouth to say something, but then quickly shut it again thinking better. I gave her a poignant look and went back to my day dreaming. It took me a few seconds to realize that she had begun speaking to me.

"...he really is one of the best in his field, I think someone to talk to would be perfect, just what you need!" She rushed out hurriedly.

It took me a few seconds to comprehend what she had said.

"What are you saying nana?"

She looked at me exasperated.

"I know you won't want to hear this, but it is what will be best for you. I've signed you up to speak to a therapist, one of the best in the country, if not the world"

I felt betrayed; I didn't know what to do.

"I don't need a therapist, I'm fine" I said stubbornly.

"Well that's just the thing, you're not. You're far from it! You won't eat, you barely sleep, you don't speak to your friends anymore, you've disjointed yourself from reality! I can't bear to see you this way. I've done all I can, it's the only option left on the table. I know you won't like it, but I'm forcing you to go. You will thank me in the end" My nana held her ground, her eyes filled with worry, while her mouth was set into a rigid straight-line. Her stare was unwavering and I knew she would not take no for an answer.

I sat there open mouthed and after a few seconds of disbelief subtly nodded my head.

"Good, now go and get ready we are leaving in an hour".

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Hope you like it!

Sorry its a tad on the sad side, but things will perk up!

I'd love to hear any suggestions you have as I'm new to wattpad and open to any constructive critism :))

Casey x