Don't Go (originally by @nadiluvswriting)

Don't Go - Ch 4

I knOw it's been awhile, but I really need to make up for all my slacking. I'm so so so sorry that this one's so late, but I had to work on the other stories I've been neglecting :( I promise I haven't just given up.  I WILL FINISH THIS STORY!

So here's chapter 4.  Enjoy!

Caitle Bug :)

Ch 4

I was concentrating much too hard on what Jesse could possibly be thinking to even recognize the feel of the wind on my face as we sped down the highway, heading away from the town.  All I knew for sure was that we were getting closer to the city where I used to live, and that was not somewhere I ever wanted to go again.  I wanted to find out what was going on, but everytime I opened my mouth to ask where we were going, I would be unable to make any sound at all.  The uncertainty was killing me, and I wondered for the thousandth time if Jesse hated me now.  I could not blame him if he did; I did not deserve anyone's kindness.

Before long, the motorcycle turned off the main road onto a narrow dirt path that seemed to lead nowhere.  We went a short distance in complete silence, the rumbling engine the only sound I could hear.  I could tell the bike had slowed down, and, when we came to a stop, I wondered for a moment whether Jesse had brought me here to kill me.  It seemed so much like something out of a horror movie.  A couple of teenagers out for a date . . . the boy leading his girlfriend down a deserted road . . . a piercing scream shredding through the night . . .

That was when I realized that I had thought 'boyfriend.'  But that was something I could never allow myself to have.  I did not deserve love, and I certainly did not want anyone else that could be taken away from me.  I could never be with this boy. 

Looking to my left, I saw the silhouette of a giant ladder and rose up from the ground, curving and twisting as if it was a serpent.  It took me a moment to figure out where we were, but then I saw the round wheel just barely visible above the trees that surrounded us.  We were just outside the gates to the abandoned Fantasy Island amusement park.  It was the same amusement park that I had visited with my family as a child before a fire had burned down half of the buildings. 

A wave of sorrow came crashing down on me as the memories flooded my mind.  I wanted to hold them back, keep them stored away forever, but it was too late.  Already the images of my parents and siblings were all I could see, and I nearly fell off the bike because of the strength of my emotions.  Why would Jesse want to bring me here? 

As I was mentally going to pieces, I heard the crunching of leaves and looked up to see Jesse's retreating figure moving toward the large gates, which swung back and forth eerily in the wind.  He did not even pause to make sure that I was following as he slipped through the gap in the middle and kept walking toward the ferris wheel.  Not wanting to be left behind in the dark, I raced after him. 

When we made it into the park, I was thankful for the penetrating silence.  If it had been full of laughter and the whirring of the roller coasters, I would have been unable to stop the flow of tears.  Even as Jesse and I made our way toward the towering circle, I kept my gaze on the ground.  I would not let myself look at the old booths, where my father had won me that pink bear that I had kept on my pillow until the day our house was destroyed.  I avoided glancing at the old coaster that Cayley had begged me to ride with her every time we came.  I refused to see the little food counter where Peter, Macy, and I had our annual eating contest, which Macy always won.  And when Jesse finally grabbed my wrist and led me to the one car on the ferris wheel that was resting on the ground, I tried not to remember how the four of us used to pile in and press our faces to the glass as we rose higher off the platform, watching as the world below us got smaller and smaller.  But still I felt the silent tears as I sat down for the first time in several long years.