She's Calling Me in The Dark (Nathan Sykes)

Chapter 1 - 'Men Are Always The Same'

Note :- This is the first chapter and the previous snippet I posted is only a preview of what is to come!

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She sat at the table parallel to me, tapping her long, fake nails on the small wooden table. I figured by her appearance that she was waiting for a male friend but she had been left in the lurch. Typical man; gets your hopes up only to smash your heart to a million pieces in the same of minutes.  Her focus switched between her phone and her watch every now and again, but that didn’t seem to help things; it just hindered them. When her phone lit up, so did her hopes but it was never him. Occasionally her eyes would drift from the filthy tiles below to the bell above the door. I could tell how much she hated its chime. Each time it rang, an extra wrinkle appeared on her forehead. It aged her. The layers of make-up piled upon her face did nothing for her either. I tried to imagine what she’d look like without all the make-up. She was quite pale from the neck down, so I presumed that was why she piled it on. She didn’t need the lashings of mascara or eye liner to illuminate her blue orbs, they were beautiful as they were. It was obvious that self-confidence was an issue here. I felt that she needed someone to talk to and since ‘he’ hadn’t turned up yet, that person was going to be me. I swirled the last drop of cold coffee around the mug before placing it back on its saucer.

‘Is this seat vacant?’ I asked. Knowing the answer, I pulled it out ahead of time and put my backside down on it. ‘I’m actually waiting for someone’ she replied. Her voice was hushed, but it didn’t seem like her normal tone. Perhaps she was just upset at the fact that he didn’t turn up. ‘I’ve been watching you for the last hour or so. Your behaviour has intrigued me. Are you waiting for your boyfriend?’ I asked. She fiddled nervously with the empty sachets of sugar on the table, before nodding timidly. ‘Men are always the same. They never turn up on time. How about we talk about this over some hot beverages instead of the scrapings left at the bottom of these mugs?’ I asked. She stared me straight in the eye, before muttering the words ‘I’d like that’ in a completely different tone to before. I grabbed my purse and headed for the counter.

It was a busy café, so I didn’t expect to be served in a hurry. I just stood there patiently waiting for my turn. They hurried past me, skipping the line. Nobody ever seemed to care about me; the little girl in the corner. I normally didn’t get served until the line came to an end, but today was different. Through the crowded line, he pulled me out and up to the top. Amid angry groans and diminished smiles, it was finally my time to be noticed.

Once I got the order, I headed back to the table, but there he was. He had arrived. I knew his face, his eyes, his hair. I recognised him from somewhere, but I didn’t know where. His green eyes were amazing, illuminating. His hair was shaped almost into a perfect quiff, which shaped his beautiful face. He was beautiful. He was hers.

I knew who he was and now, I knew who she was. He was recognisable anywhere. She was like his little lap dog. He was in The Wanted and she, well she was a model with a rock for a brain. Their relationship was the most recorded relationship in years, due to their careers. I always thought that they were only together as a publicity stunt, especially considering all she has going for her is her looks and career. Nathan could do much better than her.

She barely glanced at me before turning to face him again. She fluttered her eye lashes and flicked her hair. I just left the cups on the table and headed for the door. I guess she didn’t need me now that she had him. Lucky bitch. As I left, I couldn’t help but look back. I caught his eye for a few seconds and we shared a quick smile but she was too caught up in her own self to even thank me.

As I walked through the deserted street, all I could think about was him. He was something that I thought about continuously and he never failed to make me smile in my hours of need. The only thing was, I had never met this man. I didn’t even know his name. All I know is that I love him with all my heart. Someday I wanted to meet ‘N’, but I wasn’t sure that was ever going to happen. I refreshed my emails in the hope of seeing a new email from him, but I didn’t.

When I got home, I headed straight for the computer. I don’t know what came over me, but I found myself crying fountains. For some reason, my heart was broken and I couldn’t see a solution coming. Maybe it was down to what had just happened back at the café. I loved helping people in times of need, because I was aware of what it felt like. Then, once their heart was mended, something would happen to make me feel worse. I guess I turned to him because he listened and understood what I meant. He never judged me for what I was, but instead told me that because of my experiences, I was ‘unique.’

 As my heart was beating fast, I composed a new email, hoping that he could help me.  

Dear N,

Do you ever feel like life is passing you by? I wake up every morning and say ‘this is the beginning of a new day. You have been given this day to use as you will. You can waste it or use it for good. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever; in its place is something that you have left behind...let it be something good,’ but I never make anything of it.

Sometimes it feels like I just exist. I’m not living the life I want to live. I get up go to college than come home and just watch TV. My life is boring and sometimes not worth living. I can’t think of my past without shedding a tear. A tainted childhood is all I possess.

You know, I self- harm to forget my pain. The physical pain is more bearable than the emotional pain, but it’s getting to the stage where, it’s not enough; self-harming is not enough. There isn’t a day that goes by, that I don’t think about suicide. I used to tell myself that I would never try it, but as I grow older, I grow more and more tempted. Just to let you know, this will be my last email to you. By this time next week, I’ll be dead.

This last year has been the best year of my life. I couldn’t imagine it without you. I know we have never met but, I love you and I mean it from the bottom of my heart.

I’ll miss you,

Aoife Belle.

I pressed the send button, not expecting a reply. I opened another tab on the computer before typing in ‘Facebook.’ As usual, I was already signed in, yet this time it would be my last. ‘What’s on your mind’ appeared at the top of my screen. ‘Hey guys! Just so you know, after tonight, my Facebook page will be no more. I’ve come to learn that, everything happens for a reason, and setting up this page has thought me how weak I am. I can’t take it anymore. You can all laugh now, because you’ve won. You’ve won the battle.’

The tears trickled down my face as I pressed post. I scrolled down through the list of settings before counting down from five. I left clicked and then it was done. My social life was officially over. The clock struck midnight behind me, sending it’s unique chime, echoing around the house. I cover my eyes with my hands, mumbling ‘six days left.’

I sighed before concentrating on the screen again. I knew that there would be no reply from him, but I checked anyway. It flashed across the screen,

‘1 new email’