Soul Spoken, Unheard Words

Confusion.

I don't get this shit.
How can you talk to someone for a while , then they start falling for you and as soon as they think they finally found a happiness you just take that away from them because you "don't know what you want " or because you're "going through some things ".
You told me that we would work this out as long as I was willing to stick by your side while you get yourself together, and that's what I did, but you just left me like I was nothing, like WE were nothing..
You were looking for a ride or die while I was the one willing to ride with you, take a bullet to the chest and die for you!
Now I know you have a different girl so don't try to play me like I'm stupid, i mean it's not the first time and it probably won't be the last, since you always out here looking for the thickest one with the fattest ass but how many of those girl can really put up with yo weak ass game.. nah let me not shame you, instead Ima just blame you for the way I turned out to be.. Vulnerable, insecurities get the best of me so everytime somebody tells me I'm pretty I can't help but think their lying to me because you made me lay out my ugly for all the world to see, and now that's all I think they see because that's all that I can see..
You told me from the jump that you werent like those other girls, that you were gonna show me something different in love, that you knew how to take care of yours but it turns out you aint nothing but a liar and
yours ain't even there no more..
I was straight up with you from the start but I guess 1 more then 99 just ain't enough for you.
I told you the shit I went through , I told you I had trust issues and I trusted you ! I let my guard down and opened up to you! let you see me inside and out with out a doubt...
And what'd you do? You did the exact same that the rest of them did, filled my head with memories that I can't seem to get rid of... Delete button just moved over to the recently deleted folder so no matter what I do I'll never be permanently deleted from you and even then my mind is still constantly replaying images of you..
I tried and tried to do anything and everything I could to make you smile . Long meaningful messages filled with words I'd always mean, called you when you couldn't sleep, supported you when you needed to get thru
and I told you that I was always gonna be there for you because that's the type of person I am.
Im loyal, I'm true! If I tell you something I must and I will do it , no ifs ands buts or maybes . I'm a good person and you're dumb as hell for not realizing that but lately you've realized what you had in front of your eyes but you were to late and too blind to see that you'll never find someone quite like me who will stick around even through the hard times. Through thick and then, til death do us part, laid my heart on the table all for you to just take it and never give it back, that's time I've waisted on you that I'm never getting back! Your never getting me back! You can try and try, tell me lies and lies, and I'm not gunna lie I'll probably believe you and coming running back just because I THINK I wanna be with you, just so I can let my mind and my heart fight battles with each other, give her another chance, you know you want too, just let her smash because you know you miss that too, but the only thing she really smashed was my heart in two.. Cracked and broken, left me in the open just so I can pick myself back up and start again, and again and again,
just so I can pick myself back up and start again, and again, and again...
"Oh we can just be friends" but with me there's no such things as friends, because when you've been hurt so many times you look for someone to help pick you up and make you feel good inside...
You look for someone to fix your broken heart and heal your wounded past. Someone you can come too, something that can last!
I don't get this shit.. How you so easily left me just like the rest...