Addictive Adolescence

Beginners

The year is 1990 it's a fine spring day in April. I just turned 18 years old. Growing up I was always told being 18 would be a turning point in one's life, it's when you are now an adult and you have your stuff together. Boy, was I happy about being an independent man, everything for me was going great! I was in my senior year of highschool, I had a part-time job at a nearby coffee shop, and I was in love with the girl of my dreams. Oh, I can talk about her all day. Her name was Stephanie. She had silky, long, light brown hair and hazel eyes. She was so beautiful. I loved her with all my heart. I was a lucky guy to have her on my arm, even if my bestfriend hooked us up. Chris was hanging around with Stephanie one day when they came to visit me, it was love at first sight. Now, we were going on 5 months together. Life was great. Or so I thought.

My life didn't start going downhill until after Stephanie turned 18 also. That's when her Aunt kicked her out of the house. She had a previous drug problem, she had told me in confidence how she was an addict and couldn't control herself. I vowed to help keep her clean. I did my best. One day, Stephanie came running up to me in tears, her eyes were watery and her nose was red and runny. She was in a strange mood. She seemed too fidgety. I asked her if she was alright or if she needed help. She frantically grabbed her purse and pulled a little baggie out. Inside the baggie was white glass. No. Not white glass, it was Crystal Meth.

I have had my own experience with drugs, but nothing crazy. I would smoke pot with my buddies and occasionally drink whiskey, that was it. I've never actually seen Crystal or any other drug before. So, honestly I was scared.

"Where did you get that, baby?" I asked her calmly trying to hide how shocked I was

"Oh, Seb! I've done something horrible. I was feeling down and went to my friends house and I asked her if I can get some pot from her. The thing is...she didn't have any but she gave me this instead" Stephanie said shaking the baggie in her hands.

I looked at her closely, as scared as she looked I felt worse. I hugged her tight to my body and kissed her hair, "It's going to be dandy Steph. We just need to throw it away, OK?"

She looked back at me and began to sob, "Sebastian...I already took some. You must hate me!"

I took her hands in mine, "I can never hate you, baby. You do know what we have to do now though right? We have to finish it together."

I knew then as soon as I said that I made the stupidest decision of my life.

She pulled away from me and started pacing, "I can't let you take any of this! You don't know what it will do to you. I won't let you!"

"Please Steph. Let me try some. Just a little bit. I don't want you doing it alone." I begged her.

"Fine", she sighed. "Only one time."

My head felt clear as crystal. It felt like a window had been opened inside me. My vision was sharp, everything to me looked new and bright. I felt light and small. I didn't have anything to worry about, because I had my girl and everything was fine.

We roamed the streets at night, feeling like King and Queen of the world. In the beginning of our adventures, everything seemed normal. We would snort about a half and kick back and relax. We talked about many different things; politics, economics, war, love, death, marriage, children, and travelling.

Stephanie and I spent most of our time outdoors. Laying on sandy beaches, sitting on park swings, running through rivers and tunnels. One day we didn't have anything to do and we were both feeling sick from our come down.

"Ugh, Sebastian I can't take this! I'm sick of feeling sick. We need to stop doing Meth." Stephanie told me from my lap.

"You're right, baby. I hate this too. Let's do something when we feel better. How does the movies sound?" I looked down smiling at her.

"That sounds great! Right now I just want to sleep. Wake me up when it's tomorrow" she said and began to giggle.

I laughed and kissed her lips, "OK get some beauty rest. I love you"

"I love you too Seby" she stroked my hair and closed her eyes.

I remember waking up the next day feeling better and ready to get on with the day. Stephanie was still snoozing so I decided to make some breakfast to surprise her before she woke up. Breakfast was done and I had showered, Stephanie was still on the couch. It was bright outside already and the day was getting warm. I started panicking. I went over to the couch to wake her up.

"Stephanie." I said quietly nudging her shoulder. No response.

"Stephanie? Stephanie, wake up baby." I pulled the covers off of her.

"Stephanie! For Christ's sake! Wake up, you're freaking me out here." I rolled her over and her lips were a bluish purple colour. I screamed.

I began giving her mouth to mouth. I was dripping with sweat and tears and couldn't get myself under control.

She started to groan, and her eyes fluttered open. Through tears I prayed.

"Stephanie? Oh, Steph can you hear me?" I patted her cheek.

She looked at me, staring blankly. I cried harder and just held her.

Just when I thought I had lost her forever, she started to cough and she blinked a few times.

"Stephanie! Oh jeez. Baby, are you alright? I was so worried!"

Still coughing and trying to sit up, she said, "I'm so sorry Sebastian. I didn't mean to!"

"It's OK Stephanie. I thought I lost you. I was so scared. How do you feel?" I continued to hold her.

"No...Sebastian. You don't understand, I'm apologizing because I used Meth again last night and dropped Acid after you fell asleep."

I was furious now. "Wait...you what? Why would you do that when we said that we were going to stop? Jesus, Stephanie you almost died! Were you trying to kill yourself?"

Stephanie began to cry, covering her face, "I don't know what's wrong with me! I was bored and had nothing to do. You were asleep. I'm sorry sweetie. I never meant to kill myself, I just took too much.."

I looked at her and said nothing.

"Please, I know you're mad at me. I promise starting now I won't do anymore! Please. I love you Sebastian. I didn't mean to hurt or scare you." She kissed my cheek.

I loved her so damn much. I wiped her tears and kissed her, "I know. I know. I just get scared of what might happen if you weren't here. I'm sorry baby, I do love you and I understand. I need to be stronger for you."

She kissed me back and whispered into my ear.

"I think I owe you an apology" she said smiling through tears.

I picked her up and set her on my lap. "You sure do owe me an apology, you see I know just what you can do."

She started giggling and moaning softly as I slowly kissed her and undressed her.

Some of the Football players started to howl from the far corner of the room.

"OK, so I'm going to stop right here. You don't need to know what happened...since its quite obvious. You're all a bunch of perverts already the last thing I want is to have potential rapists in this class."

A few of the girls began to laugh along with them.

"Anyways, if you will let me finish.."