Prologue –
“Someone told me once that when bad things happen it’s because god is testing you to see how strong you are… and I think that if that was true, then god shouldn’t need to test me anymore, because with everything I’ve been though I’m pretty sure I’ve proved I’m strong and then some,” I could feel the tears welling up in the back of my throat as I spoke. My voice went from average tone, to high and squeaky.
“I’ve also heard that bad things happen to make you stronger, ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger?’ that type of thing. I personally believe that—“ I couldn’t even finish my sentence before the water works started. I could hardly talk because I was sobbing so hard. It took me a second to look back up at the camera because I was wiping my eyes on the sleeve of my sweatshirt and trying to calm down.
“I just feel like, enough bad things have happened to me for a life time, and my life isn’t half way over yet. I feel like I just can’t put it all back together as easily as I thought I would be able to, I was ready this time, and I still couldn’t do it.” I paused and looked up at the camera; I looked pathetic, crying like this, and no one knew what I was talking about.
“Do you believe in fate? Because I didn’t until I met you,” I didn’t even know who I was talking to. A camera? Him? Did it even matter at this point who I was talking to or what I said? “Sometimes I wonder why every time something good comes into my life I can only enjoy it for a short time before it gets snatched out of my grasp. Then I think to myself,” I’d been trying not to glance up at the screen, I didn’t want to know what I looked like at the moment, because I knew it wasn’t good. “I think that maybe I would have rather never had it, then know what it feels like and not get to enjoy that feeling anymore.”
“Hi, I’m Presley Jones,” I let out a sigh and paused again. What was I trying to say? Why was I crying I wasn’t even telling the story yet. I knew this was going to be hard, but maybe the shrink was right and I needed to talk to someone, something. I couldn’t just keep all the feelings inside me like I tried to. It just wouldn’t work. “and I guess I should tell y’all my story hm?”
