antirape poemy thing

antirape

(Dude, if you're triggered by any of this kind of stuff, why did you even click the read button? Please don't complain about triggering stuff. I warned you with the frickin title. But, if you ever do need to talk, feel free to message me. I'm here for y'allz.)

She's laying there, in the dark. She's scared, because she still remembers what happened when he came in, and dimmed the lights down...the symbol of his "games". It was years ago, and she still is afraid of the dark. It's been years, and she won't even let anyone touch her. It's been years, and she can't even look at him without being reminded of it. It's been years, but it'll last a lifetime. She'll never really escape it. And all because of what he did to her. what the boy who was supposed to be her brother did to her. And now she's laying there, after crying, her eyes hurting. She's just wishing someone could see it, but she can't tell anyone. She's screaming so hard she can't breathe, but no one can hear it because she can't add sound. But they should see it, in the storms in her eyes, her flinches, her tendency to curl into a ball and just ignore the world, she's screaming her silent cries, wishing someone would see the screams in her eyes. It ruined her, she still cries herself to sleep. She still won't let anyone in. She still blocks out everything and everyone that could possibly threaten the curtains she's pulled over her past. She tries to kill every memory, his taste, his touch, his lips on her neck, the feeling of him inside her mouth, his hands that so delicately touched her, even though that delicate touch carried emotional kicks and punches. It's like she constantly has a knife in her gut, and it won't stop twisting. And he walks around fine. He graduated from school. He just got a stern talking. He keeps walking, and no one knows what he did. And she's scared to say anything, she's scared of the pressure. She's scared that they won't believe her. She's scared that everyone else would hate her. So she hides it, and he walks, without consequences for ruining her. He killed her childhood. She stopped being a kid at the age of five. Five. Years. Old. And she can't tell anyone, just screams it with everything she has. Everything she does. She's afraid that they'll judge her for not fighting back. A five year old against a 13 year old guy. She knew that she wouldn't have a chance. She didn't even want to try. She hated every second of it, but never fought back. And there lies the thing that scares her the most. She's afraid that people will say it wasn't rape because he never actually entered her, she never said no.....but the thing is....she never said yes.