You can have it, but you can't.

Part 1

I was drowning.

But I wasn't.

It just felt that way.

I wanted help. I really did.

I just couldn't bring myself to ask for it.

No one seemed to know that I was drowning.

They would talk.

But in my head all I could think was,

I'm drowning. Help me. I can't put it into words. I can't voice it. But help me.

I didn't want to say it. 

I didn't want to sound needy.

I didn't want to seem attention seeking.

I didn't want to sound weak.

I wanted it.

But I can't.