Well, It's Complicated...

Chapter 20

Louise's Mum's POV:
I was sitting at my desk when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I walked outside to take Louise's call.

"Mum..." I was immediately suspicious. "What do you want?" "I have a law question for you..." I started getting concerned, " honey is everything alright?" "Mum, everything is okay with me its a friend I need to ask about. Can we come down to see you?" I sighed with relief, my baby was okay. "Yep sure I have a meeting in about an hour but I can squeeze you girls in." "Thank you so much Mum!!" "My pleasure honey, I'll see you shortly, stay safe."

Pipers POV:

We arrived at the police station to find everyone running around, scrambling to grab case files and keys before running out the door. I managed to catch 3 words, 'Abernathy', 'car' and 'dead'. My heart dropped. "Mrs Lovelace, is Liam alright?" She shook her head, "I'm not supposed to tell you this but he's in a critical condition and even if he makes it through both of his parents were killed in the accident."

I felt the world go blurry. Tears streaked out of my eyes and I couldn't hold myself together any longer. I collapsed to the ground sobbing. Then an all too familiar sound rung throughout the room. *brung* I wiped my eyes and looked at my phone, hoping, praying for some good news but instead I had a message from my "Guardian Angel"

Guardian Angel:
Roses are red, violets are blue. I made your baby die, Liam will too. Tell the police and Liam's lifespan will significantly decrease.
Love,
Your Guardian Angel

I started shaking and fell to the floor. It was all my fault, I'd told Louise and now Liam's parents were dead and he could be too. I shouldn't've let anyone else get involved. This should've been my burden to bare alone. Oh god! How could I have been so goddam stupid? I lay on the floor for what seemed like forever until I was moved by someone I assumed was a policeman.

"Piper?" I looked up to see my Dad. I blinked but didn't move. "Honey, you've been here for about an hour, we are going to take you to the hospital, we think you may have gone into shock. Honey?" He turned to someone I didn't bother to look at, "she's not responding we need to take her there now."

I was carried gently to the car and was sat upright with a seatbelt around me to ensure no more accidents that night. I stared blankly at the back of the car seat. The bleak square patterns of black thread drawing me in to a dull numbness. I could no longer feel my heart beating, my lungs expanding or the Liam shaped hole in my heart starting to scar.

I was picked up again, and someone in a white coat flashed a bright light in my eyes as he shouted at me. I barely noticed the light, it was nothing compared to the agony the rest of my body was in and his shouts only blended in with all the voices screaming inside my mind. They put me onto a white bed with white sheets, a white pillow, and they pushed the bed into a white room with white walls, white lights and a white floor. The person who selected the colour scheme needed to think about the effect so much of the same would have on a person. I sat staring at a wall until someone came in to talk to me. He said his name was Dr Matthews and he explained that the reaction I was experiencing was perfectly normal. He tried a few small activities to try and stabilise my mental state. When nothing seemed to break my catatonic state Dr Matthews laid me down and put an IV drip in my hand. I fell asleep quickly and painlessly.

I got out of the car and looked up at the large church. I swallowed and adjusted my plain black dress, making sure the pleats fell in straight lines perpendicular to the ground. I felt a pair of familiar arms wrap around me. I turned around and buried my head in Thom's chest. I would have soaked his suit if I had any tears left but I had cried all the tears I would ever have the past few days. We stood like that until I heard the distinctive sound of asphalt being crushed by tyres. I turned around to see the long black car pull into the church grounds. I watched as his uncles and best friends walked over solemnly to lift the coffin and carry it into the church. I followed closely behind, not wanting to lose sight of the coffin.

I took my seat with his family at the front of the church. There were three hundred people in the church but the only one I paid any attention to was the one in the chestnut brown coffin. I knew it contained the body of the one person I would ever love. I listened to the priest say prayers over the coffin and wondered quietly what he would have thought about all this. The first speaker was his uncle, Bill. Bill talked about his fondest memory of Him which involved fishing of some sort. Bill walked towards the coffin and placed the cap He had worn the first time they went fishing together. The next speaker was His best friend, Brian. Brian discussed how well He could cook and that while He had his flaws He was a good person. He placed a photo of them together on the top of the coffin. I started shaking and Thom grabbed my arm. I managed to stand up and walk to the podium. I gave a speech about my connection with Him.

"He may not have always been my favourite person in the world but he was always the most important." I swallowed, wincing as the ice cold air burnt my throat and tears stung my eyes. "The day I discovered I was carrying His child was one of the most terrifying and the most magical days of my life. The knowledge that we had created life together made me feel special, it made me feel like I was important. My biggest regrets are that I did not tell him that the child was his, and that he died not knowing how much he meant to me. I loved him so much it physically ached to be without him. They say a place is only as good as the people you know in it but what happens when the person that made it all worth the suffering, is no longer there? I was scared, I was scared that if I told him that I was in love with him he wouldn't love me back, that He would reject me, and I didn't think I could survive that. We all need to stand together and help each other through this because human beings were designed for many things but loneliness was not one of them. The object I have chosen to bury with him is the first ultrasound of his daughter."

I was wrong when I had said that I had run out of tears. I didn't believe that I would ever reach a stage where I could think about him without feeling as if I was shattering inside. I no longer felt pain, I felt as if part of me had died. I compared it to people who had lost a limb. They sometimes felt as if they still had their leg and would go to use it and would find it gone. That was how I felt. I felt as if I'd lost a central part of myself. I had stopped believing in love until he came along and now he was gone and I didn't think I would ever be able to get used to not having him with me.

"Piper?" I groaned, confused, "yes?" "Liam is awake if you wanted to go see him. Just remember he is still tender and is on lots of painkillers, okay?" I dragged myself from my half-dream state. "Are you serious?" Dr Matthews nodded, "yes, honey, now I'll wheel you in there okay?"

I was wheeled into Liam's room to find him half-awake. "Liam?" I asked, worriedly. "Piper, is that you?" I nodded, "yes, it's me." Dr Matthews moved my bed so it was next to his and since we were both on so many painkillers we held hands and whispered each other's names until we fell asleep.