Cela's Sad Quotes/Poems

"Wrong" and "Right"

The words "Wrong" and "Right" shouldn't exist in this world. They are both opinions that don't matter. You can't prove that somebody's wrong, nor can you prove that someone is right, but of course this whole thing is an opinion. This is my definition of "Right." The hero always wins is bullshit. 'Cause here I am. Half of the world thinks I'm a villain and and half of the world thinks I'm a hero. Which half do I choose? What is the people I love hate me, and the people I hate love me? I can't tell anymore.

I don't think the word "Change" should exist either. It's the number one thing I'm afraid of. Funny how a word can hurt us all... Just one simple word. The word "Change" shouldn't exist because it's  a part of nature. It's not a decision others get to make. Ever notice how everybody tries to change you? Like that saying, "If you're gay, it's a sin." At least you're you. You didn't change yourself so someone could like you. That's one person out of a hell of a lot more than a million. Don't change yourself for other people. If you change yourself for everyone, there is always going  to be a person out there who can't see the good in you. Can't see how hard you try... to fit in like everyone else. Guess what popular kids? I know someone that doesn't like you. Those people that had to sit in  the shadows. They had to watch you make all the friends. While. They. Couldn't. Do. Anything. I think I saw this in a movie once. "Even if you change they wont be happy. They don't want you to change, They want you to go away."
I think that this will always be true. There's only two people who can change you, and ones not even a person. It's nature. It's your own nature to change. And then there's you. You have the ability to change yourself. Don't let other people control your life. I won't say don't live your life for others because that's what I do. To be honest, if it wasn't for other people I would've killed myself long ago. I'm saying don't get tricked... There are bad people out there... and I'm sorry. Not even I could fix that, because remember, they can only change themselves.

-(Celamari Onderko)

This was the first thing I ever wrote. I wrote it about 15 months ago. This is when I vowed to change myself because I felt... nothing. I just wanted to die. I cried every day so it was no surprise that even my own grandmother said I had problems. I'm very anti-racist (Because I am part black, not much but it's in me) because I hated my self for a long time. I hated my skin color because other people told me that someone as mixed as me shouldn't exist. I tried to rip my skin off one time. (Wasn't very successful) I became insecure. I told myself what others told my every day. That I was ugly and that I shouldn't exist. I told myself my mother threw me away and everyday, I started asking myself questions like, "Is she ever coming back for me? Did she ever love me?" Things got even worse until I had a huge panic attack and my grandmother held me telling me it was going to be okay. That was when I got tested, and I told them everything. I was diagnosed with PTSD and OCD. Things got better and worse in different ways, I told my grandmother everything and was able to overcome my past, but I then thought I had problems and I would not embrace them because I could not accept that it was a part of who I am. Well now it's different. I wrote this quote as a part of accepting who I am. I hope you do too.