Confession of a teenage girl(WAR)

Today I went to work at St. Bartholomew's Hospital which is also known as Barts. It is in Smithfield in London, not far from where I live. Did you know that in 1546, St Bartholomew's Hospital became one of four royal hospitals in London, the other three were Bethlem, Bridle and St. Thomas. I have been improving on my skills but, no one seems to give me much credit for my work and assistance. A friend of mine called Ally, just started working at the hospital and I have been asked by the head of the nurses Mrs. Reed, to take her into my care and show her the ropes of the way we work and what we do. This makes me feel like I have a purpose here finally.

I hope Papa is pleased with me. He has always been a grump about me ever since I was born according to my Mama. She says that he wanted a son before a daughter so he can have an heir to his trade early so he could retire. He was so angry that I was born. Everything that I do is to try and make him proud of me. I have never failed at anything I have done for the fear of being a disappointment to him. My mum loves me and thinks I am trying to hard but, I want his approval of me.

Our family was going to send off Ally's brother today as he was travelling to Gallipoli. Oh Derek, I can't believe he has to go. I can't believe I am actually saying this but, I really like him. I have liked him for as long as I can remember. He doesn't know it of course and nor would I want him too. What if he didn't like me back? What if when he leaves I die of a broken heart because he doesn't like me. The only person who knows I like him is Ally. Ally is the most amazingly bestest friend ever. *Oh and just before you ask, I do not care if the word isn't a real word, cause it is now* She is happy that I like him because if anyone was going to be her sister in law, it was going to be me. She tells me every time I rant about Derek that he likes me too but, I can't seem to believe her.

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*3:00pm*

Were on our way now and I think I am more nervous than he is. My family meet up with his family at the other side of the dock. Derek starts walking to the boat dock and I join him. He looks at me and smiles while taking my hand and intertwining them. To say I shivered would be an understatement, my heart was almost coming out of my chest at this point. He looks at my reactions and chuckles making me blush even more than I already am. I try to focus on where were going than the amazingly warm, tingly feeling of his hands in mine and how they perfectly fit with each other as if there mean't to be.

As we arrived to where Derek would hop on the boats, he suddenly stopped. I went around to see what he was looking at and stopped. I could not believe my eyes. There were so many of them. The boats were spread all over the water, even further than the eye could see. A man in uniform near us was checking to make sure that all the boats were there before they left. I took a glance at his list and I was shocked. Out there on the water were 2 sea-plane carriers, 1 battleship, 3 battle cruisers, 25 pre-dreadnought battleships, 20 cruises, 28 destroyers, 8 monitors, 5 sloops, 8 submarines, 3 kite balloon ships, 1 trauler, 1 yacht and a ship called the levent. It was a formidable list. He must have realized I was looking because he walked away with the paper hidden from others.

A man blew a Whistle saying it was almost time to get on the boats and head to Gallipoli. I turned to face Derek. He seemed prepared but when I looked into his eyes all I could see was a mix of fear and worry. I told him that he'll be fine even though we both knew that would not always be true. It was time for him to go. I gave him a big hug, I didn't want to let him go. He was my best friend besides his sister Ally.

Right then and there I knew that I loved him more than just a friend. I looked into his eyes again and what I saw was sadness, it was as if we were thinking the same thing. The next thing I knew the man I loved, the man who gave me the confidence to be me and follow my heart was kissing me. I was stunned yet I still kissed back with just as much fury as he did. I felt like I was on fire, I couldn't believe he felt the same for me. The passion was short lived as after what seemed like just a second, we pulled apart. I couldn't speak, I was overwhelmed. I looked at him for a long time before I realized he was talking to me. He pointed to my hand. I looked at mine and saw a piece of paper. I didn't even know it was there. I read it and could not believe what i saw

My dear,

I have wanted to say this for a long long time, but was always to afraid you never felt the same. I love you with all my heart and hope that when I return, you will be there with me to stand by my side as my wife.

Your love,

Derek

I looked at him and you can only imagine the feeling of relief, excitement, shock, love and joy that I felt at that moment. I nodded my head vigorously and did what anyone would have done in my position. Our kissed had more passion in those few seconds than I have ever felt doing anything else in my life. It was not long before we pulled back for air and I could not stop smiling. He had to go but, before he left he put the engagement ring on my finger and gave me one last kiss filled with love. He left and I just stood there not moving.

I was in a complete trance........ until of course Ally jumped on me squealing with joy. I turned to see Derek's and my parents standing there with the biggest smile I have ever seen. Realizing that they had seen everything, I ran to my mum and hugged her as if she was the only thing keeping me from falling off a cliff.

Suddenly I heard the horns on the boats go as they departed.I ran to the edge to watch his boat leave. I wanted him to turn back, I wanted to see his face one last time. He turned around and kissed his ring that looked just liked mine. I tried to stay strong but my knees were giving in, I couldn't let him see me break down. The one thing I didn't expect though was for him to take out a picture of both of us that was taken at the festival just a couple days before. It was the closest we had ever been together, except for today. But he had drawn a love heart around both of us.

He looked at me with a loving smile with the words I LOVE YOU spilling out through the look in his eyes. I was almost to weak to say anything, but I had enough strength to say one final thing.

"Oh Father, please bring him back to me alive"

Right then and there, my legs and arms caved in and that was all I needed before I started balling my eyes out.