black hole garden

Things I Hate about Alabama

I have lived in the state of Alabama for almost 16 years now and in those 16 years, I've developed a burning hatred for my home state.

So I figured I'd list some things out

1) The only people that have concerts around here are country stars

2) Bama Jam... A music festival just for country musicians... It's as bad as it sounds

3) Hunting. Alabama's calendar basically revolves around what you can brutally shoot for fun for that period of time

4) Football. Just...... football

5) The rivalry between Auburn University and University of Alabama. They legit make front license plates with either Auburn or Alabama patters, or my favorite, the one that has both and has the caption "A House Divided"

6) Southern Accents. I. Want. To. Rip. Their. Vocal. Chords. Out. ^.^

7) Perfect Christian girls. As comes with living in the Bible Belt, there are a whole lot of Christians around. And I'm Christian, too, but these girls think they're so perfect just bc they're Christian but obviously they don't know what Christianity is or what it means

8) All the guys wear cowboy boots. They are hardcore rednecks but also I'm sure 90% of them do it to make themselves look taller to "preserve their masculinity". I swear if most of these guys took those three-inch cowboy boots off, I would be taller than them

9) Our only main cities are Montgomery, Birmingham, and Huntsville. Other than that it's just crappy small towns and everyone is on drugs or wearing camo

10) To get anywhere in Alabama, you have to go through miles and miles of countryside. It can be pretty sometimes, but mostly it's just ugh so many trees I hate it

11) Roadkill. You cannot drive anywhere in this dumb state without coming across at least one piece of roadkill

And that's about it I guess. Thanks for listening to me rant about Alabama fam