The Nerd

Chapter 9

The sight of my father basically just threw me off unexpected.

I shouldn't have doubted myself, the voice in the voicemail was indeed him.

If they actually thought that the both of them getting back together would have made me happier, they were absolutely wrong. From the day he stepped out of this house, there was no point coming back again. There's a reason why they divorced, they don't love each other as much as they do before, and I do not have any means of letting him stay in the house. My house.

Going on a vacation, who is she lying to? Come on, we all know now that she's just using an excuse to hide the fact that he is coming back. Does this mean that she actually wants him back home? Yeah, probably. She misses him so much, now that he's back, she should be squealing for joy. But have they actually thought about my feelings?

Of course they didn't, they just thought that fixing back the family would be as good as nothing actually happened. Things that are once broken can never be fixed back. My family has been broken, there's no point in fixing in back. But my parents don't get it. I want the truth, not some bullshit dug out from nowhere. Just thinking about the fact that Mum actually lied to me about going to a vacation boils the anger in my stomach.

"Honey !" I could hear Mum's voice inside the house, before she runs to the living room and gasped at me. "Oh my god, Rainie, I thought you were at Jarrell's house?"

See what I mean? This whole thing - Mum lying to me and my ex-father sudden appearance at the house, it was all their plan. To make him come back and live with us as though nothing happened, fixing back our broken family, and make everything a fairytale ending. Too bad, I was going to spoilt their perfectly planned plot.

"Yea, looks like we have a visitor." I stared at his eyes. Those eyes that were completely alike, the cloudy gray eyes that held misery and remorse. He never changed at all - the dirty blond hair that he was always proud of and the bulging tummy that never stops growing. The tummy I used to take my naps on when I was young, and the tummy that provided comfort and ease for me to get into my sweet dreams. I can't believe I still remembered all those memories, but if there was one thing that I should hate him for - it's for loving me.

If I had known that he would have left the house to have another family of his own, I would have stopped accepting his bear hugs, his free car rides to school, and the kisses he stained on my cheeks. This overwhelming love he showered me with couldn't be got rid of no matter how I tried, because as what people said - you will always leave a piece of your heart for someone you love. I did love him, simply because he would always be my father.

But now, it wasn't the right time to forgive him, after all the things he had done. If he had considered apologising to me, and visited me after the divorce -just once, I might throw away the fact that he left us and continue to love him as before. It hurts so badly not only when you get bullied in school, but also when someone so close to you didn't want to be by your side anymore. And I was going to pay him back for what he did to me.

"Rainie, I d-didn't mean to-"

"If you didn't mean to, why would you do this to me?!" I cried out.

"Rainie, it wasn't your Mum's fault. I'm solely responsible behind this." He softely said to me, his hand placing on my shoulder, which I immediately shoved his hand away. The expression on his face hardened, excruciating with anguish. But little did they know, that I have experienced twice of the misery he felt now ,when he left the house.

"Stop pushing the blame to each other! If you," I pointed at him, "If you would have spared a thought for your daughter, you wouldn't have left the house! Am I even your daughter?!" I spat. Tears formed at the side of my eyes, rolling down my pale cheeks. I continued glaring at him, which he looked away from it.