(i think) there's a flaw in my code | camren

day 393

@LaurenJauregui: good morning miami! so excited to play my in my hometown tonight! who's gonna be there?

//

Camila almost drops her phone when the door of her dorm room is thrown open and Dinah and Ally come charging in.

"Mila, time to wake up. We have a concert to attend," Dinah nearly shouts.

Camila rolls her eyes. "I've been up for hours." She runs her hand through her hair as Dinah plops down on her own bed, and Ally takes a seat next to Camila. "Guys, I've been thinking about it, and I don't think I want to go anymore."

"Oh hell no. We've been saving up for this trip the entire month. You haven't stopped talking about it for nearly three months. There's no backing out now," Dinah says, shaking her head. "If you don't want to see Lauren you can just wear an eyepatch or something, but we're going."

Ally shoots her a look, giving Camila's hand a soft squeeze. "Is there a particular reason you changed your mind all of the sudden?"

Camila, choosing to ignore Dinah, sighs. "I just don't think it's a good idea to go. We haven't talked in months, and it just feels weird. Like I'm stalking her, or something." The idea of seeing Lauren again after saying goodbye to her over a year ago also makes her heart feel heavy with dread, but she doesn't say that.

"That's bullshit," Dinah says. "People are lining up in front of her hotel in hopes she'll stop to take a picture with them. In comparison to them you're not stalking her at all."

"Yeah, well, other people weren't almost in a relationship with her," Camila snaps. "Other people didn't have their heart broken by her. It still hurts to hear her music on the radio, or to see her tweets, or to just know she continues to exist without me. Maybe I'm just not over her yet, and maybe I'm not looking forward to spending ninety minutes in the same room as the girl I would've done anything for."

She knows she's out of line. Dinah and Ally have been nothing but supportive of her, and they brought her tons of ice cream after the falling out with Lauren, but still.

"I'm just saying that maybe it's a good idea to see her again because you haven't spoken in so long. What if she's just as miserable about it as you are? You two are, like, the most stubborn people in the world—neither of you is gonna talk to the other first, that much we've learned, so maybe being in the same room will help you talk it out," Dinah shrugs. "I'm going either way. I want to see this Lauren Jauregui person my best friend's been on about in person."

Camila lets herself fall backwards on her bed with a groan, because Dinah is right. The only reason she hasn't talked to Lauren is because she's too stubborn to reach out, and if she's learned anything it's that Lauren is stubborn, too. She doesn't even remember the details of their fight. All she remembers is the way she threw her phone across the room afterwards, and how she cried in Ally's arms for weeks.

"I think Dinah's right," Ally says. "And even if we go, it doesn't mean you'll have to talk to her. There's going to be thousands of people in that venue. If you don't want her to notice you, she won't. It can't be that hard to blend in."

"I hate it when you guys are right," Camila sighs. "I also hate Lauren."

Ally pats her leg. "You'll see it'll be a lot of fun. I've heard Lauren's really good live."

"She is. She could probably release an acoustic album and make the charts." Camila lets it slip out before she can stop herself. Even now, when it hurts to say Lauren's name, she still admires her more than anything. It's the only reason she hasn't deleted her fan account on Twitter yet.