Xenia Pierce of 1850 (Vampire Diaries)

Chapter 2

I painfully watched as Elena, Xenia, and Stefan all laughed hysterically and ate their dinners. I hadn't touched my food at all, only drank a few sips of wine from my glass. Elena and Stefan had made a simple alfredo pasta, which probably tasted delicious, but still tasted like concrete in my mouth. All because of her.

All because of Xenia.

Damn it, why did I of all people have to sit in front of her? I had to constantly bring myself to look up at her face, especially when everyone tried to include me in the conversation. But I was so distracted, I mumbled a couple of words and took another sip of wine.

I secretly watched Xenia laugh loudly, the corners of her lips pulled up in a dazzling smile. Then I looked over at Elena, and saw the same thing plastered on her face. They were like twins, only Xenia had green eyes and black hair, and those features that I had adored so much...

1850... I could recall those years instantly. They burned me, and never went away, like a brand on a cow. I could never forget those years... They haunted me. Always.

"Damon?"

I locked eyes with Stefan, who gestured to Xenia. She was speaking to me.

"Could you repeat what you said, princess?" I said with a sly smirk. I felt the wine kicking in and my words slipping out like rainwater.

"I said," Xenia said with a chuckle, "is the food good?"

My plate was still full. I didn't even know why we cooked food, when the majority of us were all vampires. But Elena insisted on having human food, so so be it. "Tastes delicious." My tone had a satisfying tone that I did not feel.

"Right... that's totally why you still have a full plate." Elena rolled her eyes, met Stefan's, and smiled.

"I had a bite before dinner."

Stefan's eyebrows went up, but I was too drunk to care about whatever everyone was thinking of me. "I'm going upstairs," I said, shakily standing up and shoving my chair aside. Then I shuffled on and hobbled up the stairs to the second floor.

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I was raging a war against myself.

Why had I been such an idiot? Why did I leave such a beautiful, fine woman as Xenia for Katherine, of all people? She was so cheerful, outgoing, and happy. Unlike me, mourning inside of myself.

"Okay, what's wrong?" Stefan asked me.

I was sitting blankly in an armchair in the living room, feeling absolutely dreadful. Seeing Xenia brought back memories that I had to choke back down to avoid guilt to get the best of me.

I was angry at her and at myself. How dare she? I thought. How dare she laugh and sing in front of me?

Stefan trudged over to my side. "What--did--you--do?" he asked, enunciating each word.

"Terrible things," I whispered.

Stefan poured us drinks and handed one to me. I took a sip, then thought better of it. I gulped down the whole thing.

"To who?" Stefan inquired. Then he smirked. "Xenia." A nod of understanding. "I get it."

I was absolutely furious. I gripped my glass and flung it towards the wall, where it shattered. "You don't get it!" I shouted, even though it was midnight. "I lost her! She's gone!"

And then there she was: Xenia. She gaped at Stefan and me.

She was wearing her silk nightgown of pearl. I remembered it all too well.

I probably looked crazy, but instead of running away, she walked towards me. "Now, now, Damon..." She unclenched my fists and soothed my tight muscles.

She led me towards the kitchen after telling Stefan to scat and poured me a glass of water. I felt like a hospital patient as I sat on the kitchen counter.

Xenia wrinkled her nose. "My goodness, you reek of alcohol." But that didn't stop her from pressing a cool cloth against my forehead. I was acutely aware of my ragged breath whenever she came close. It didn't help matters that she looked identical to Elena, either.

An hour passed as she nursed me back to my moderate health, but even then, I couldn't fully heal without her... She was right next to me all the time, but she felt so distant.

At two in the morning, she finally helped me down from the counter and led me to couch. She took a blanket and tucked me in as if I was a child.

I was just awake enough to say, "I thought you didn't care about me." My voice was hoarse.

Her angelic face morphed into a small, sweet smile. Her pink lips reminded me of the times when they would press against mine...

I faintly grasped her hand, and she knelt down next to me, her face next to mine. "Sometimes, Damon, other feelings get in the way." She said softly.

"Feelings like...?"

She sighed, and her eyes dropped to the floor. "Damon, I can't... I can't feel this way, because you've always been in love with someone else. You're in love with Elena," she mouthed so quietly I could barely hear her. "Aren't you?"

I opened my mouth to protest, but she just shook her head and laid a finger on my lips. "I don't want to hear it. Go to sleep, Damon. Dream happy dreams. But don't dream about me, because there are others that can treat you so much better."