Paper Heart (Undertale)

Chapter 1: Phone Call

Hello! I, the Great Oreofficial, am here today to present you with an author's note. Although this fic won't be completely canon-accurate, I strongly advise you not to read it if you don't like spoilers and are planning to play the game or watch a playthrough of it. 'Cause there'll be a lot of references from all routes of the game (pacifist, neutral, and no mercy) and I want you, the Great Player, to experience everything yourself. But if you don't really give a shit, go ahead. I have a feeling you're going to have a good time! Nyeh heh heh!

Sans had been hard at 'work' stacking hot dogs on top of each other and making artworks on the counter with ketchup and mustard. After hours of tedious work, he dozily laid his head down to the sweet sound of Toriel's lulling. However, the serenity was short-lived, as a trombone playing the tune of a rock song blared through the air. Sans's head shot up, launching hot dogs in every direction. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the most precious gift he'd ever received. A familiar voice greeted him immediately after he tapped the answer button.

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"It's me, the Great Papyrus! Nyeh heh heh, did you know that, Sans? It's me!"

Sans chuckled. "Alright, you got me. What's up, bro?"

"Well," he started. "I made something very unique and exciting today!"

"Oh, yeah? What?"

"Spaghetti! Nyeh heh heh!"

"I can take it from here. Thank you, Papyrus," mumbled someone else. "Hello? Sans? Are you still there?"

His heart slipped through his rib cage and onto the floor between his legs. He picked it back up and stuffed it into his pocket, face flushed a bright blue. "Uh, yeah, I'm here. What's wrong?"

"Sans, I have a difficult request to ask of you. It is not safe to talk like this. We must meet... in private."

"But we... How? Why? We don't-"

"Sans."

"O-okay, I'll meet with you. But I can't go to the Ruins, and you can't come to Snowdin."

"I can. And I will."

"If you're sure then... Just keep walking through town 'til you find a building that has 'Grillby's' on it in big letters."

"Splendid! I will arrive when the little numbers on our phones read '19:00'. Oh, and for no reason in particular, which do you prefer? Cinnamon or butterscotch?"

"Ketchup."

"I will keep that in mind. You do not dislike cinnamon and butterscotch, though, right?"

"I don't if it's from you. See you at 7."

"Goodbye, Sans," they bleated.

Sans lowered his phone and stared at it for a moment. He hovered his finger over the 'hang up' button until he heard more voices coming through the device.

"You're going on a date? With Sans?! Wowie! Quick, we must practice date mode! I snagged an official dating rule book from the library, and it says here that step one is opening your dating hud! It looks like you've already completed step two by asking my brother on a date. Step three, put on nice clothes to show you care. Wait a second, you're already wearing clothing... You're way better at dating than I am!"

"Papyrus, it is not a- oh, dear. It seems as though the call has not ended yet. Would you mind pressing this red button? It is difficult to use this with large hands."