Niall Horan Quick & Dirty One-Shots

Since We Were 18 (AU)

So kiss me where I lay down, my hands pressed to your cheeks
A long way from the playground
I have loved you since we were 18

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Oh, to be 18 again. What I wouldn't do to go back to that time, when everything seemed so simple, so innocent.

Maybe Niall and I would have a chance if I could only turn back time.

But not now. He's leaving to go back to Ireland in a few days, and I don't know if I'll ever see him again.

He had come to the US as a senior in high school, through a student exchange program. And then he stayed to pursue agricultural studies and education at Purdue, so he could become a professor back in Dublin.

I was the first person Niall met in the United States. That was because he lived with my family during his senior year, and my parents sent me to the airport to pick him up when he first arrived. We became fast friends and spent our senior year joined at the hip.

I didn't realize until the day of our graduation from high school that I was in love with him. But it didn't seem right to tell him just before he left. Only, he didn't leave. He told me a few days later that he'd been accepted at Purdue and that he would be staying in the US for college. He hadn't wanted to tell me before he knew for sure. But as soon as he told me, he asked if I wanted to get an apartment with him at the university, you know, since we were like siblings and it wouldn't be weird.

I assumed that meant he had no "feelings" for me whatsoever. Clearly, my parents didn't pick up on any chemistry between us, because they were all for having us share an apartment when we went away to college.

So, I eventually decided that I would have to deny my love for Niall and function the way we had during our senior year - as best buddies,"brother and sister," and nothing more.

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Now, we've lived together for five years and I feel like I'm going to die when he leaves. He's become a part of me, and there will be a gaping hole in my life when he's gone. I know he cares for me deeply as a friend, but obviously, his heart isn't aching the way mine is.

Our college graduation is next week. Niall's parents are arriving in three days to watch their son graduate. And then to take him home and out of my life.

I'm packing up some things in our apartment. I pull a framed picture of the two of us off the shelf. It was taken a few years ago at Halloween. We went as Raggedy Ann and Andy, and we won first place for best costume. I pack it into one of Niall's boxes that he will have shipped back to Ireland. I quickly take down the other pictures, not being able to handle the torture of reliving each painfully wonderful memory.

I start pulling things off the bookshelves. There are several Dave Barry books. Niall and I would sit and read to each other and laugh maniacally at the genius humor in those books. They represent many nights of bonding during study breaks or rainy afternoons when we didn't feel like leaving the apartment. I divide them up equally,trying not to think about the fact that I probably never hear him read to me again.

Next, I move on to Niall's music. Scribbled sheets, binders, guitar picks lying everywhere. I make sure I pack up his tuner and his capo and neatly seal them inside of his guitar case. I consider writing a heartfelt note and leaving it inside of his case along with his beloved guitar. But then I decide against it. I don't want him to feel weird about me or feel like he can't talk to me when we have our promised Skype calls.

After I sift through a few more shelves full of memories, I decide to take a shower. I have to let my brain and my heart rest a little. Niall is taking one last final and I should have the apartment to myself for at least another hour, so I strip down in my room and walk naked to the bathroom. I don't bother to close the bathroom door all the way. Even when Niall is here, sometimes we'll share the bathroom when one of us is showering because, hey, we can't see each other through the forest green shower curtain, and we are just like siblings, after all.