Eigengrau

The beginning of the flame (II)

Chapter 12:

"Hey, hey, hey! Listen up, everyone!" Said a loud guy, around his twenties, from the roof of a four track. He had a bottle in his hand and both of them raised in the air, calling to get everyone's attention "Listen, listen! Shhh!" He silenced them "For those of you who don't know who I am, my name's Patrick, and this is my party!" At that, everyone cheered, raising their fists and screaming at the moon.

"He's an asshole," Riley whispered in Mia's ear, causing her to giggle.

"This is the time you've all been waiting for... Let the bonfire burn!" Patrick shouted, after someone had handed him a burning torch. With his free hand, he tossed it to the pile of wood that would become the bonfire seconds after he threw it.

When the torch touched the kerosene-soaked wood, it immediately caught fire, the flames rising up to the sky, seeming to caress the stars. Sparks flew in every direction, and Riley finally found an image to compare his feelings to. What he felt inside looked exactly like those sparks: highly volatile, uncontrollable, bright, warm and free to wander to their liking.

Mia, on the other hand, was too drunk to compare her feelings to the sparks. She was too drunk to do anything but stare wide-eyed as the tongues of fire licked the sky mercilessly. She looked in awe as people threw things into the fire, yet she was confused as to why they were doing it. So she asked.

"They are burning memories," Riley clarified, much to Mia's further confusion "They burn things that remind them of someone, or something. Like mementos," he explained.

Opposite to them, Lilo, Mouse, Walt and Fitz had their objets at hand and eagerness in their hearts. Lilo had a box full of hand-written letters from her uncle (who was in prison, but we'll touch that subject later); Mouse had a scrapbook held tightly between her arms, pressed against her chest. Walt had one of his own shirts, which had once been Casey Duncan's favorite t-shirts to wear as her pajamas. The smell of her still clung onto the fabric, and Walt hoped the chemicals of her perfume would make it burn quicker. Fitz had his school binders and books in a pile in his arms. It was a ritual for him to burn the school things from the year he was leaving behind.

With a deep breath and a countdown, the four friends threw their mementos into the flames, yet -as it happened every year- the memories they were trying to forget stayed with them, and they remained more vivid in their minds, almost as if they were fueled by the burning fire.

"Oooh," Mia said, finally understanding it "And what are you burning?" she curiously asked.

"Nothing," he replied, looking into the fire "See, I think people are made of memories, of experiences... Of mistakes. I think burning things that remind you of those experiences... It's like denying they ever happened, which ultimately is like losing a part of yourself. And I'm not even close to doing that, you know? Without the things that we want to forget, we're nothing." He finished with a long sigh.

When he looked down at Mia, her face shining with the light of the flames dancing around in her eyes, he saw her smiling stupidly, the kind of smile someone who's not paying attention to a word you're saying -and is also very, very drunk- gives you.

"What?" Riley asked, his arms crossed over his chest, partly to feel his heart beating quickly, and partly just because.

"I like that, what you just said," Mia replied, dragging her words like she was tired of talking.