Mistakes

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  • Dedicated to Frankie Rosa
                                    

How do you tell someone you dont love them anymore? If you're blunt, you're heartless. If you try to sugar coat it, you're pathetic. What do you even say? "Hey, I know we've been together for 5 years , and I just told you I love you last night, but I don't love you anymore, so bye?" Last night I loved my girlfriend. I wanted to marry her. Now, I hate the way she looks in the morning, her hair isn't sexy anymore, I wish she would close the bathroom door when she goes, everything about her pisses me off. I called her after work and told her that we need to talk. I'm already an hour late, I can't stall any longer. I'm walking up the steps to our apartment. She left the door unlocked. For some reason, instead of laughing, I'm angry. Doesn't she know how dangerous that is? "Hey baby." she says from the couch. " Hey Alyssa." I say. She's wearing my shirt and sweat pants. I used to love it when she did that. "Alyssa? You havent called me that in years!" She says. Yeah, well, we need to talk." I sat sitting on the couch. She scoots closer to me and tries to kiss me. "No, Lyss, we really need to have a serious talk." I say pushing her away. She moves back to her spot and frowns. "Okay." She mumbles. "Lyss, I really don't know how to say this. I just, I don't feel the same way about you anymore." I say, avoiding her gaze. " Well, that's okay." She says with a smile."No Lyss. I mean I don't want to be with you anymore. I don't love you anymore Alyssa. I'm sorry." I say. I look at her. Whether nods and the smile fades from her face. She looks into my eyes and then gets up. She was into our bedroom. I know I should follow her, but I just can't. I stay on the couch for two hours before getting up. I walk to the linen closet and grab a blanket to throw over the couch. Just as I finish making my "bed", Alyssa walks out dressed in her own clothes and tugging along a suit case. She stops by the front door and drops her key on the coffee table before turning to me. "Did you ever?" She asks. "What?" I reply, confused. " Did you ever love me?" She clarifies. " Yes. I'm not sure what happened but yes. I loved you." I whisper. She nods and walks out the door. All of a sudden, I feel the silence and loneliness crowd in around me. I find myself missing her. What did I just do?

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