Madeline

17. A difficult choice

17. A difficult choice
(6 months later)

Noah
"Dr. Harrison, we have to put her under. If we wait any longer we might lose them both." I barely heard what they were saying to me. Our baby was in distress and they had to induce Madeline's labour. "Dr. Harrison?"

"Okay."

"You have to make a choice."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"If it comes down to only one surviving, the mother or child, who should we save?"

This was not a question I wanted to answer, but I had to. "The mother; if it comes down to that, save the mother." I took a seat with a heavy heart. At this point there was nothing I could do. I had to let the doctors work. At this moment I wasn't a doctor. I was a partner and expecting father.

Hour passed and there wasn't any news. My worry grew. That meant things were probably more complicated than they'd anticipated. I bowed my head and closed my eyes all while praying for a miracle, for everything to be all right. It was the most nerve-racking hours of my life. Not knowing if your girlfriend and your child would live or die.

It took about six hours before someone returned with an update. I was on my feet immediately.

"How are they?"

"There was a lot of bleeding. We worked very hard to save them both, but unfortunately we couldn't. I'm sorry. The baby didn't make it. We could only save one."

I fell heavily into the chair I had recently vacated. I had been praying against all odds that it wouldn't come to this, but now it has. I don't know what to do.

"How is Madeline," I managed to croak out.

"She's still in recovery. It might take a while before she comes to."

I nodded. How was I to tell her that our baby is gone? How?

I was shown to where Madeline was after listening in detail what exactly occurred in the operating room. I sat with her for how many hours I didn't even know. There were so many things I was feeling right now. There were so many feelings I couldn't explain. I watched Madeline for almost two hours before she started to stir awake. She looked around calmly for about a minute before her eyes adjusted to her surroundings.

"Water," she barely managed to say.

I poured her some and helped her take small sips. She closed her eyes again and I almost wished she'd go back to sleep just to give me enough time to figure out how I was going to break this devastating news to her. I was lucky that she did. It gave me enough time to gather my thoughts.

The next time she woke up she was more alert and prepared.

"How long have I been sleeping?"

"A while." I brushed her hair away from her face.

"How's our baby? Is he okay?" I swallowed heavily and looked away. "Noah?"

"I'm sorry."

The happy expression she had disappeared.

"What happened?"

"Your surgery was complicated. They," I paused. "They couldn't save you both. I had to make a choice."

"What do you mean you had to make a choice?"

"The baby would have killed you. I couldn't let that happen. I told them to save you."

"What?" Her face transformed to one of horror. "You had to choose between my life and our child's and you chose to save me? How could you do that?"