Love, Your Secret Admirer

Chapter 16

When I become aware I can hear the beep, beep, beep of the heart monitor next to me.  My eyes are still closed, but I can feel the needles from the IV and various other tubes in my arm.  I try to move but I can’t, I’m constricted.  I try to open my eyes but it feels like they are glued shut.  Slowly and carefully I eventually peel them open, and when I do I see that I’m in a hospital room.  My mom is in a chair next to my bed, reading.  I can turn my head so I look over at her and say, “Mom.”  It comes out scratchy and I sound like someone else entirely. 

            But she hears me and turns away from her book and looks at me.  When she sees that I’m awake she smiles and tears start forming in the corners of her eyes.  She grabs my left hand, which is in a cast, along with my right ankle and my entire torso is wrapped up tight.

            “Oh sweetie, I’m so glad that you’re awake,” she says.

            “How long have I been asleep?” I ask, my voice still scratchy.

            “Just a couple days,” she says stroking my hair.  I reach my good hand up and feel my head.  Most of my blonde hair is gone and in the place of it are stitches.

            “What happened?” I ask.

“Zach threw you down the stairs, honey.  I wish you told us when it first started happening.  However, it seemed like Jefferson wasn’t that surprised.  He was very, very upset.  Furious even.  When the school called and informed us of what had happened Jefferson took one of the cars immediately.  When the rest of us got to the school, we say Zach in the police cruiser with a swollen face and Jefferson was on the ground, being handcuffed by the officers.  We had to go bail him out of jail.  He was, and still is, so worried about you.”

            I start to tear up now.  “Where is everybody now?”

            “They all went home to shower and freshen up, but Tom has been here the whole time,” she says, smiling, gesturing to the other side of the room.  For the first time I look around and, sure enough, sleeping on a couch on the other side of the room is Tom.  “He’s been here as long as you have,” she continues.  “He hasn’t even gone to school.  He just has his friends drop off and pick up his homework.”  Suddenly I see Tom reach up and stretch.  When he opens his eyes he immediately looks at me.  When he sees that I’m awake he rushes over to my bedside and grabs my good hand.  He just looks into my eyes and I look right back.  “Well,” my mom says after a few seconds of intense staring, “I’m going to go down to the cafeteria and get some food.”  Then she gets up, grabs her purse, and leaves me and Tom alone.

            After more hand holding and staring I see Tom’s eyes start to water up.  “Janeen, I am so sorry,” he says putting his head down on the side of my bed.

            “Tom,” I said with my scratchy voice, “it’s not your fault.  I don’t blame you.  You had no way of knowing.”

            He looks up with hatred in his eyes.  “I should have known.”

            “Well how did you find out in the first place?”

            He takes a sharp breath in, like he’s been punched.  “I was in my class and I heard you scream.  I didn’t see you but I knew something was wrong.  I went and told the principal.  She ran ahead of me, she’s very fast you know.”  I laugh at this but he keeps going.  “When I got there it was too late.  You were already lying there, at the bottom of the stairs, broken and thrown down like a rag doll.”  He starts to cry again.  I motion for him to sit next to me.  He climbs onto my bed and puts his head on my shoulder.  The weight hurts, I suck in my breath and he sits up, but he’s still holding my hand.