Diary Of A Nightmare

CHAPTER 1

The rain descended on the graveyard like nails. The surrounding trees showed no signs of life as they lowered my oldest brother down into his coffin. The fallen leaves of autumn rustled in the wind. The overbearing silence was broken as the priest began to speak.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to mourn the death of the late Adrian Halloway.”

The name cut like a knife and left tears pouring from my eyes. Picture of me and my oldest brother began to flood my mind and blur my vision. He was a tall guy,but not very muscly. He had straight, medium length, shiny black hair, pale white skin, dark brown eyes and a strict face burdened with worry lines. My older brother, Matthew could see the pain in my eyes as he put his hand on my shoulder.

“We’ll make it through this, Sammy,” he said with a sigh.

Matthew was the same height as me, with dark brown hair, dark brown eyes and slightly tanned skin. Usually he has a playful face, but today he wore a grim frown. I looked almost identical to my oldest brother, the only difference being I was shorter height.

 As the priest continued, I could feel my breath getting shorter as I attempted to hold back the tsunami that was slowly bursting through my eyelids.

“Adrian died peacefully in his sleep of unknown causes at the young age of 20. He left our world, but he has not left our hearts. Although he was a troubled child, he was God’s child and will be welcomed with open arms amongst his kingdom.”

Empty words. Nothing more. He didn’t know Addy. I knew Addy. Matt knew Addy. This man that stands on a pedestal and acts as though he was close to those he speaks of, my brother would never even speak to a man that tells each family the same speech that he rehearses in front of his own glorified, reflected image before he lays down to rest.

“And although we miss dear Adrian, we can feel comforted that he is with God now, in his kingdom, in the name of the Father and of the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.”

“Amen.” Everyone said as the started to disperse from my Brother’s grave as though he was nothing. These people that say they knew him, but knew nothing more than what they heard. These blank faces that knew only of the abuse and destruction that was spoken of but never witnessed. The events that were shared but which never occurred. My Brother, the misunderstood body in a pool of sharks.

I walked to the side of my Brother’s grave and dropped to my knees as they lowered his body down into the dark abyss. My Brother followed behind me and soon, my Mother came and picked me up.. My Mother, the one who remained strong through the entire burial, who has never shown a sign of weakness in the face of hopelessness, who has never said the words ‘If only your father were here’.

“I can’t believe you have to go through this, your only 16, you shouldn’t have to worry about all this,” She said as she brushed her hand through my hair in an attempt to comfort me. My Mother was a shorter women, only standing at about 150cm with light blonde hair that flowed freely around her neck and an excellent complexion, as though she was always wearing makeup.

Matthew stood beside us, not saying a word. My brother Matthew was only a year older than me and had never been an affectionate person, but for what seemed like the first time he wrapped his hands around me and mum as if to tell us it will all be ok. As we walked back to the car, my Mother offered to take us to McDonalds in an effort to cheer us up. We both declined the offer. When we arrived at home, Matthew and I went straight to our room without a word of notice. As we entered he shut the door.

Our house was your average three bedroom house. Driveway on the side leading to the backyard where there was an old park style bench, a clothesline and an old tool shed. There was about a two meter porch with a red wooden door. You walked into the lounge room, just after the fireplace was a cut off to the kitchen were the dinner table was and just behind it was the door to the backyard. Left of the lounge room was the hallway leading to the three bedrooms and one bathroom.