The way he kissed me made me go into a trance. When he would run his hands along my body it made me shake and quiver. Laying in his harms after every go around is what made me get close to him again. The lose of words, butterflies after every text I would send/receive, having so much in common. What can you say, I was in love.I never wanted to lose what we had going, I never wanted to be without him in my life. It was easy for anyone who did not know exactly how i felt to say that I do not know what love is. But the truth is, does anyone know what "love" is? We all have our own definition of love, so there shouldn't be someone telling you that you don't know what it means. I am Evelyn, and I'm only sixteen. Yes, I have found the one that I want to be with for the rest of my life, his name is Jesse. Jesse is a senor in high school, and I'm well.. I am only a freshmen. Weird how a senor can be with a freshmen, right? I thought so too, until he told me that he really did love me. That he was ready to settle down and have a real relationship. This was my first relationship that my parents approve of, so maybe you can say that I was so happy to have my parents approve. This is a new beginning for Jesse and I. I knew that it was only a matter of time before what we have now will soon turn into something more. I don't know what that something is just yet, but I know that It will. I can feel it, the feeling is unreal. Thinking about it makes a part of me go numb, makes me feel as if I can love someone and know that no matter what he will always be by myside to help me out and love me for who I am. I never had that, espically as kid. I try not to think about the past or what I had been through, it was just way too much for me to bare. I know that one day, one day I will have to take everything that had happened into consideration, and talk myself to believe that it was all just a phase. But, for some reason I knew that it wasn't just a phase. Somewhere along the way I was lost, I was lost and I didn't know how to get found. Thats how I meat jesse. He is in the same boat that I am in, we both help eachother. Thats just another thing that made me fall for him.
The sound of my parents arguing again is what woke me up, at five in the morning. I guess you can say that it was nothing new. About two years ago my mom came home from work early, and walked in on my dad with another woman. It wasn't just any girl; No. It was an old family friend. I thought that my mom was going to have a heart attack when she found him on top of her. I can remember exactly everythiing that had happened that day. Moaning, bed squking, little screams.. I just thought that it was my mom, I never thought that my dad would end up the "neighborhood whore". I haven't ever seen my mom so tore up over something, and I was a natural at screwing things up. Sitting in my room, just listing to things that was said "how could you do this to me? to Evelyn, to us?I hope the tramp was worth it.. because." She was at a lost of words, didn't knwo what to say, think or how to react anymore. Somehow he got her to forgive him, and to put all the stuff that had happened that night aside. It wasn't long before my mom walked in once again on him cheating on her, and this time shit went flying. Nothing was the same, nothing will ever be the same. If it was up to me, I would throw him out. When he would come home from work, start throwing his clothes out on the front lawn. But, my mom just doesn't see it that way. Here lately, the arguing is just getting worse. No one is getting any sleep, no one is getting along, its all just hell. As bad as I want to stand up for my mom and tell my dad to just get his shit and leave, I know that it will not end up the way that I would like it too. So, all I can do is just put my pillow over head, and just wait for the arguing to stop. As soon as I start to dose off, I heard a big a crash. I was sure that my mom took my dad out for good. No, I was wrong. I ran down the stairs and seen that my dad had pushed my mom into the glass coffee table, at that point I was done. I took the close-test thing to me and went after him. I went after the guy that went after my mom, the guy that thought it was OK to walk into my house and wreck everything. One swing after the other, i didn't stop until I knew for sure that I got him. At that time the cops had showed up, and at this moment I knew that my life would no longer be the same.
While I was sitting at the police station I couldn't help but to think about everything that had happened. I know that being dealing with someone who has cheated on you before is something that no married woman wants to deal with, but abuse is something that I couldn't let slid off my shoulders. I wanted to blame myself, for everything that had happened. I wanted to say that it was mmy fault as to why we are in this place. Why we are in jail right now. But why? Why should I blame myself for standing up and taking up for someone that I love. Hitting my dad.. It was something that I have never thought I would do. I was always against any type of fighting, now being here; In this position is just.. unexplainable. I mean, I couldn't sit and let my dad hit my mom and get away with it. No way, not possible. You see, I was born in the Ghetto. Seeing people getting robbed, killed, raped, and beat was nothing that I wasn't use too. The thought of my dad doing such a thing to my mom had never crossed my mind. He always said that a "Real man" never beats a woman. Being in the position that I am in now, is just the start of what made me go off the "deep end". Monday morning, seven in the morning and I am still in the bed. Not my bed of course. I am in the arms of the worlds best boyfriend anyone could ever ask for. Jesse and I have been together for about a year and a half. We met at a party down by what everyone calls "Make out Lake".
