Finnick & Annie ~Back After Never Pt. 1~

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            The house is quiet. Nothing but the undying noise of waves and seagulls. I sit by the window, over looking the ocean. Outside it's peaceful. Inside it's peaceful. But it's definitely not peaceful inside my brain.
           Nine months. That's the time it's been since he died. Died.
           The fact that his child, the only remnant of his life, is inside of me, makes me sad. Makes me mad. Frustrated. Devastated.
           I place my hand on by burgeoning stomach and tear up. I want him. Want him back. Want him beside me. Want him to raise our child with me. Tears start to fall freely from my face, and I don't stop them. I just grip my stomach with both hands, pressing so hard it hurts.
         My hand wipes tears from my face, just as I realize that about thirty minutes have passed, guessing by the sun and its position. Have I really been crying for that long?
         Unknowingly, I roll up my shirt to reveal hand marks, all red and puffy. I look out the window, and the ocean is still there, the seagull (who've I've named Cullen) is still there, standing on the old dock post.
        All alone in this big house, no one for miles around. I hate it and it makes me angry. I want Finnick.
But sadly, I can't have him. And I hate the universal laws of death for that.
....

I'm now sitting in the large family room, which doesn't have a family to live it up to it's name. On the large couch, I tie and untie and old piece of rope, just like Finnick used to do. This makes me tear up again.
I try to fight them as best as I can. I try to remind myself of the baby, and how I need to stay strong for it. My hand absentmindedly goes to the child's home, right where the marks were from earlier, causing it to sting, causing the child to kick.
The rope starts to fray. To the point where it breaks into 13 little rope pieces, which I braid back into their rope form very delicately. My father was a fish net maker, so I learned to make nets and tie knots and braid things in all different ways. That's also why my hair is always done so very carefully. I need something to fill my void. And doing things with my hair, as stupid as it may sound, makes me the slightest bit happier.
            When I get tired of fooling with the piece of uncooperative rope, I set it down beside me and try to think of what to do next. This is a thing about me I hate, I always have to do something. I can never just sit, which something I do a lot. I hate this shred of my personality, this fiber of my inner being, but Finnick adored it. He was the same way.
I'll go outside. I'll get some fresh air. I probably need it.

....

As I stand on the breezy coastline, feet barely getting wet, I mumble the first words I've said in weeks.
"Finnick, I know you're watching me right now, wishing you could be here to help me with our child,"-I start to tear up-"but sadly, that can't happen..." My voice trails off into complete sobbing. I fall into the sand, flushing my eyes of the last drops of water they possibly could contain. But it just keeps coming. This is every day. Almost like a game. Repetitive. But there are far worse games to play.
          This is no way to live. I should have a happy family, a husband. All this and more, comes out of me in the form of tears, sobs, and other awkward crying noises. I can only imagine how terrible I look.
        "Finnick!" I cry into the sky. "Come back to me! I can't do this! I give up." Following this trauma, is, yep, you guessed it, more tears.
If it weren't for my, excuse me, our child, I would've killed myself along time ago.
The water is salty and cold, but I lay in it anyway.
"What are you doing, water bug?" A voice says. My eyes are closed, crusted over by dried tears.
       Water bug. Finnick used to call me that. Wait-no, it couldn't be-
        "Finnick?!" I cry as I lift myself off the shore. Surely, it's not...
In one second flat, I'm up on my bare, cold to the touch feet.
       "Finnick?! Please tell me I'm not imagining this."
"I'm here, sweetie, I'm here." Finnick's voice says.
       "But, b-but, but I can't see you." I say timidly.
"Because I'm behind you, Annie!"
I turn around, eager to see my husband. To this day, I never took off my wedding ring, the aquamarine gem in the center.
Sure enough, the love of my life is standing there with open arms. Obviously, the first thing he notices is of course the belly. A stunned look overtakes his face for a second, going into a genuine smile.
We embrace for a good ten minutes, me just embracing the fact that he's alive, flesh and bone.
As he resents a little, he asks, "Y-you're pregnant?" He puts his large hand on the small child. "Am I the father?"
"Of course! I was so worried that I would have to go into all this parenting stuff alone! Wait, are you alive?"
"Yes, my little water bug, I'm here to stay. I never died." He says as he motions for us to sit down on the sand.
"So, how did all this happen?" I ask, rubbing my stomach and looking at him smiling. We grab hands.
"When they left me in the pipes with the muts, I managed to kill them all off. They thought they ate me, but actually I just blacked out for a few minutes. I had wounds everywhere. A rebel found me before the bomb went off, and brought me to a rebel hospital in 13 where they fixed me up. They thought I wouldn't make it, so they didn't tell anyone I was alive. Now, nine months later, I'm fully recovered and back. Back to you! Back to new surprises! Like, you're pregnant! And alive! I couldn't be happier!"
           "I love you so much Finnick," I say softly. "I just can't believe your alive. Any minute I'm going to wake up from this cruel dream, back to my melancholy life of perpetual sorrow and grief. Finnick, I've been miserable without you!" I start to cry.
"No, this isn't a dream. I'm here to stay." He wraps his welcoming and warm arms around me and wipes a lone tear from my face. "Let's do this, it's getting late, so we can go inside. Then we can catch up and have crying fits inside. C'mon, sweetie." He helps me up and inside. Inside the huge house, which now will have a family in it. A happy family that will never separate.

....

"I love you so much, Annie." Finnick says. "Thank you for carrying my child. You look beautiful for nine months pregnant."
"Thank you, but I just glad your back! Everyone thinks you're dead! How are we going to tell everyone? Well Katniss is coming over tomorrow with Peeta, they'll know." Then we just talk for hours about anything that comes to mind.

....

That night, for the first time in forever, we fall asleep together, with smiles on our faces. The first smile I've worn in a while.

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