The Damaged Truth

Secrets Can't Be Told

This is the next chapter of this story.

I hope you like it.

I was kinda scared to write this and publish it.

But someone told me not to let my writing go to waste.

Sorry that its short.

But I will write more as time goes on.

~

*ZAYNS POV*

The sun streams through my window. I can barely remember last night. My face feels sticky and raw. The blood on my arm is dark and cristy. I see the evidence of what happened last night: the bloody blade, the bottle of alcohol, and the letter.

*Later that day*

"ZAYN!", the boys yell as they see me.

The happiness and joy in their faces is something I crave for. I plaster my fake smile on my face. They all attack me with hugs. I try blinking away my tears. I feel like the weight on my heart has disappeared for once. It returns after they let go.

"Where have you been Zayn?", Niall asked.

I wish he didn't ask me this question. I hate lying to the boys. They are the family I never asked for. I'm so lucky to have them, because I would hate to be alone again. If I was alone, the feeling would just....

"Zayn?"

"Huh?"

"You ok?"

"Yeah."

"You sure?"

"Yes I am. Now, stop asking Louis."

As soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted it. The shining smile that would stretch across his face disappeared.

"Zayn, you know I didn't mean to make you mad. The boys and I are just worried and concerned about you as you worry about us."

"I know Lou. I'm sorry."

I feel guilty. I shouldn't have gotten angry at Lou. He is one of the most caring and sensitive person I know. I really wish he didn't know me. I don't deserve any of the boys in my life. I just deserve to die alone and sad. But right now, I deserve some pain.

"Lou, I'll be back. I need to go smoke."

I walk before he offers to come with me.

I have a secret place here at the studio. I know the boys always wondered where I disappeared to, but I just can't tell them. I wish, but I can't pull them into this hole. I push open the door. The sun warms me as its beautful rays shine on the flowers and plants among the roof.

I sit on the ground admiring the blooming flowers. I take out a cigarette, lighting it. The smoke fills my lungs. The burning rush spreads in my throat to my lungs. The smoke clouds my thoughts and face. Its like I'm in a different world. I feel pain within, but not enough. I need more. I get up and walk to the ledge. I want to scream. I want to scream as loud as I can, but no matter what I'm a silent voice. I'm empty. I'm invisible. I'm worthless. I'm nothing.

I take out my phone, craving the need for pain and release. I struggle to take off my iPhone case, as my hands shake. The blade drops to the floor. Just a little cut, but not too much. I know I should think about this. I should think about my actions, but I can't. I'm tired of thinking. As I glide the blade across my skin, I hear the door open. I turn around.

~

I'm sorry that I love cliff hangers.

Please tell me what you think. COMMENT AND VOTE!

-Bella