How To Breathe

Chapter 1: Burn

    Run and just LISTEN.... to the beat of her dull heart..to my pounding one. Everyday I run, just to embrace her sobs as they stream down her cheeks, onto my sweater and eventually soaking through the stitching... "Annie" I say she backs away from me and stares at me with her tear swollen puffy eyes and with her soft voice answers "Yes" "Are you up for some hot chocolate and a movie?" I ask. As she wiped away her tears, her blue knit sleeves fall and another new blade mark, lined her arm around the many bandages already there...

I walk up the stairs carrying our favorite hot chocolate made up of heated Nesquick and 3 big fluffy marshmallows. I open up the wooden frame door into our spare room which we use as our special room. She chooses the movie If I Stay. "Um are you sure you want to watch this?" I ask "Ok look I know it's a sad movie alright..just because I suffer doesn't mean you have too"

I look down at the hot chocolate, the marshmallows are slowly fading away into nothing.. Just like Annie

Her dark brown hair falls on my shoulder down my chest as she quietly sleeps on the hem of my t shirt. The movie ends but I replay it because I don't want to move too much... She rarely gets enough sleep as it is.

The knock on the room door is loud, and to my "content" it wakes Annie. My mom comes in with a bag full of prescriptions for Annie, almost all were anti-depressants...

Everyday day she would swallow pills among pills one after another. They didn't do anything, it seemed I was doing a better job than they were.

I would always spy on her and watch her take her daily dose, and everyday  I would watch her hold up another dose of pills and see her carefully eyeing them, one more dose and we lose another member of the family.. And I wasn't about to lose her. Not now and not ever.

To this day I have run home from school everyday because she was fragile. Everyday I would have to stitch and bandage another cut along her wrist, and everyday I have to be her psychiatrist constantly trying to find a way to heal her but in the end I'm just a phase and her scars are forever...