Second Chance

Chapter 4

Roxanne's P.O.V.

Yeah, I felt guilty for blowing Demi off for the billionth time today, but I just needed to be alone to read. I always read Shakespeare, thanks to Brian. His love for the language influenced my love for it. Some of the very few things I brought with me to the Timberline Knolls were books, poems, collections, and plays by Shakespeare, and I spent my free time each day reading his works. Perhaps I was addicted. Perhaps I didn't really care. The writing of Shakespeare was all I had left of Brian. I felt closer to him this way.

Outside on the sidewalk that lead to our wing's theater room, Sarah caught up with me to tell me that I would be sitting next to Demi. I didn't react. I was already in my pajamas with a book tucked under my arm and a blanket draped over my shoulders on my way to watch my favorite movie of all time. Nothing – not even her – could ruin my mood.

As it turned out, I was surprisingly elated about everything, even seeing, talking, and sitting beside her. She entered the large, dimly lit theater room.

Girls crowded around each other, picking a bench or couch or row of chairs to sit. I was on a couch that leaned against a wall. It was a small couch, only big enough for two people, which was why I chose it. I waved her over, and she grinned, but looked around to make sure I meant her. Slowly, she came over to me with her own blanket, her pajamas fitted around her body.

We both had similar versions of pajamas. Mine consisted of loosely fit, light blue cotton pants and a tank top. Hers was a pair of slightly baggy black sweatpants and a band t-shirt. Each of us wore flip flops. It could almost be said that we were matching, though it was completely unintended.

"You were talking to me, right?" she whispered, pointing to herself.

I nodded. She seemed surprised, but sat beside me anyway, smiling to herself.

Everyone took their places. The lights were dimmed even more, and the projector turned on, showing the Walt Disney commercials that opened for the movie. Then it started. I smiled so big that my face hurt, and I could hardly keep myself still.

Dory sang, "Oh, I love to swim, when you want to swim, you want to–"

She stopped because Marlin yelled, "Dory...Dory...See, now I'm gonna get stuck with that song, now it's in my head!"

"Sorry," Dory apologized.

I mouthed everything Dory sang/said and Demi mouthed what Marlin shouted. I knew this would stick with us for a long time. Maybe Demi wasn't all that bad.

But that was what I feared all along. The fact that she wasn't bad. The fact that she seemed partially wonderful. The fact that she was halfway innocent. The fact that she had attitude like me in a humorous way. I was already becoming attached to her by this, by allowing her to sit beside me, by allowing her into my life for stupid privileges.

She was being given the power to hurt me. The problem with making friends in this place was that when they'd leave, they'd go separate ways and never see each other again, which, for the record, hurt like hell. It did for me, at least. I lost Brian; I couldn't afford to lose anyone else.

These thoughts interrupted my happiness every now and then, and I dealt with them most of the times that I was around Demi. It wasn't her particular presence that bothered me, it was my mind that turned me into a monster every time she neared me. I wasn't a fan of being around people in the first place; she was just one of the only people who dared to speak to me. She reached out to me in a way that nobody else would. She wasn't forced to talk to me – at least, I didn't think she was. Sarah and all of the other nurses were.