The Lost Companion -Doctor Who-

Silent Love

*The Doctor is in his sixteenth regeneration- (Actor: Benedict Cumberbatch)

I was a companion. That was my favorite part of living, and at times...dying.

I traveled the stars with the Doctor, I met thousands of people, alien races, extraordinary being from all over the universe.

And eventually, I  fell in love with the madman in his blue box. Slowly but  surely. It's inevitable for everyone who travels with him. 

I said it often. In jest, in a general setting, after he'd saved earth in some dare devil way.

But then sometimes I told him when we  alone. Just us,  in the TARDIS. He usually just smiled at me.

He smiled a lot back then.

The first time he told me he loved me was three years into our adventures. We had just saved planet earth (again), standing on one of Jupiters moon's, looking at our beautiful planet. In silence, of course. He didn't talk much. Not this regeneration at least. I like 16 just as much as the rest,  but I miss fourteen.

He was my Doctor. The one I fell in love with.

This regeneration was sad. No more of the bouncy, crazy, silliness that he used to be. His hands soaked in the blood of a thousand planets, the greif and the burden of his race on his shoulders.

Now this regeneration stood with me on a lonely moon, looking so sadly at the planet he had saved. He still didn't say anything, just reached over and took my hand in his. It wasn't in his nature to say things out loud, but he did then. His voice was so soft. So lovely. I could have listened to him talk for hours, just because I loved the sound. But he just said "I love you." So Suddenly. No warning. Just "I love you." And he didn't say anything else for a long time. such a long, long time. Then he smiled, a very small, childish smile. Even though he was smiling, I could see the tears.

Oh god, I hated seeing the tears  that he shed much too often. Hated knowing that there were so many reasons for him to cry. So many deaths, and so much pain. but with those eyes full of tears and a playful smile on his lips, he turned to me, and in the light of our sun, millions of lightyears away, he kept talking. "I'm going to lose you. I've lost everyone. You always find a way to get killed or lost, and I end up alone."

I didn't argue with him, I knew what he said was true. I couldn't bear the thought of his being alone again. He had spent too much of time alone. I didn’t respond. There wasn’t a need too. I entwined our fingers together and held his hand, resting my head against his shoulder, and his head on mine,  and we just held each other to the surface of the world..

It must have seemed strange to anyone but us. An all powerful  timelord and a lonely little human, letting their grieve mingle on a moon of a dying planet. But we were good for each other.

We always were.