Catch My Breath (Finn Harries fanfic)

Chapter 7 (Finn's P.O.V.)

It was getting routine. I go out to a party, I talk to a girl, I bring her to my room, and I make her leave the next morning. This lifestyle choice was awful and I knew it. I was an awful person and I kept making the same bad decisions over and over again. I woke up this morning feeling like crap. There was a blonde chick in my bed and I told her that my mom was coming to visit me at Uni in 15 minutes so she better leave. She freaked out and gathered her clothes frantically. As she opened the door, she said "Call me later?" with a wink.

"Yeah, of course." I said faking it. Surely, I wasn't. She was awful and I didn't even remember her name. 

I took out my phone and I saw another text from Kendall:

Hey Finn! I'm having a birthday bash at Funky Buddha tonight & I was hoping you could come. Text me back!

It was the fifth one this week. She had been nagging me to hang out with her but I've been avoiding it lately. A big part of me felt incredibly guilty because I was now avoiding her and ignoring her just like any other girl. But the thing was Kendall wasn't just any other girl. I went through a lot of trouble to be her friend and now I was just throwing it away. She was the first girl who actually saw past my act. She confronted me about what I was doing to girls and she was right. And as she started to despise me more, I wanted so badly to get to know her. A girl like her is rare. She's witty and smart, always speaking her mind. She makes me laugh like no other. She was just different than the girls that I usually meet. When I'm around her, I get knots in my stomach and a tightness in my chest. And I always want more. I always want to hang out with her and saying no is the hardest thing. 

My thinking got disrupted by a phone call from Jack. 

"Hey Finny!"

"Hey, what's up?"

"Are you going to Kendall's birthday thing? You got invited, right?"

"I was invited but I was thinking about not going."

"What?! Are you serious, Finn?"

"Not feeling it."

"You haven't talked to her, huh." Jack knew about how frustrated I was after seeing her with Caspar at the restaurant. The way she looked at him made me so angry. Jack knew the real reason why I was avoiding her. The truth is that I was starting to like her. Like her more than a friend. The normal Finn Harries would never 'like' any girl. I don't do relationships. Relationships are messy and someone always gets hurt. What was this girl doing to me? I was turning soft.

"I haven't but that's not the point. The point is that I don't want to drive all the way to the Funky Buddha."

"Stop making excuses, Finn. It's obvious you like her so go be there for her birthday. You know, the normal thing to do when you like a girl is to go pursue her."

"I don't like her, Jack."

"You know you're just lying to me and to yourself. Well, I have to go. Text me if you decide to go." I said goodbye to Jack and I hung up. I was incredibly torn. It was a decision between sticking with the old me or trying for the new me.

-------------------

I pulled up at the club and I was immediately bombarded with fans. I took pictures for a little while and then I went up to the balcony where the birthday bash was happening. There were so many people that I didn't expect would be there. There was just a whole lot of people in general. Apparently, we were all yelling surprise when she came in. 

Soon after, Kendall's Uni friends walked in and then Kendall walked in. Everyone yelled SURPRISE! Kendall was looking so incredibly hot. She was stunning and I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She was very surprised and it was so cute to watch. It looked like she was having a heart attack. After, she started going around saying hi to everyone and giving them hugs. I decided to wait my turn. If she was even going to come up to me. I was such an ass for not texting her back and suddenly showing up at a party she was throwing. 

"Finn!" She said as she pulled me into a hug. She smelled really good. Her hair smelled like apples and I was intoxicated by her perfume. 

"Happy birthday, Kendall. I'm sorry for being such an ass to you these past weeks. I've had a lot to deal with." I said nervously. The last part was a lie but I figured I should come up with a good excuse as to why I was ignoring her and I didn't want to blame her.

"I'm just glad you came! Let's go dance!" She said with a huge smile. Her smile lit up the room. I couldn't help but say yes. I went to dance with her for a while until she left me to go take some shots. She was getting more and more drunk by the second. She was going wild but it was so much fun to watch. 

I saw a couple guys taking advantage of her drunk stage trying to grind with her and hook up with her. I didn't blame them. She looked amazing and she had the personality to go with it. But her friends were always there to save her from the creepy guys. Plus, I was watching from afar and I told myself if things got out of hand, I would come save her. She was worth saving. I was with a couple of the YouTube people like Marcus, Zoe, and Alfie and they were having a blast but I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. 

She came over to me again but this time, she was totally gone. "Finn!!!! Will you take me home?"

"Yeah, sure." I put my hand over her shoulder and we started walking towards the exit when Georgina and a couple of her friends came over to us.

"Finn! What do you think you're doing?" Georgina screamed.

"Kendall asked me to take her back." 

"You expect me to believe that? You're going to go take advantage of her!" 

"Stop it, Georgina! I trust him!" Kendall screamed back at Georgina. It was heartwarming hearing her say that she trusts me because I trusted her too. And I wasn't going to ruin it. Georgina let us go and I took her to my car. She sat in the passenger seat. I expected her to be sleepy but she was very much awake.

"Why do you sleep with so many girls?" She said less reserved due to her drunken state. She really had no filter when she was drunk.

"I don't know."

"You can tell me! Especially since I won't remember any of this tomorrow."

"I have a question for you, Kendall. What do you think of me?" I asked curiously. I figured drunk minds spoke the sober heart so her answer would be the truth. Plus, this would help me figure out whether or not to pursue this any further.

"I think someone must of really broke your heart and hurt you very badly in order for you to be so messed up. I think you're a really good guy who just needs to make better decisions." She was right. I thought back to Jo Dunbar, my first serious girlfriend. She cheated on me with some random guy at a party and it broke me. It was one of the hardest times of my life and I wished I had never met her. "Being around you makes me really happy, Finn. But I'm scared of getting hurt by you." 

"I won't ever hurt you." I said knowing that in the morning, she won't remember a thing. 

We pulled up to our building and we walked to our rooms. She was still tipsy so I carried her in my arms bridal-style. I figured I would help her get into bed and make sure she falls asleep face down. I put her into her bed and she said "Are you going to get in bed with me?" as she tries to pull me into bed.

"No, I'm not. I can't." I said to her.

"Why not? You sleep with every other girl out there? Why not me?" She sat up in her bed looking frustrated.

"Because you're different, you're not like any other girl. And I don't want to mess this up." I kissed her on the forehead and I tucked her in.

"Why does everyone kiss me on the forehead. You, Caspar, who else..." And then she fell asleep. The word Caspar coming out of her mouth made me question everything again. It made me a little frustrated that she would bring him up while talking to me. I mean, as much as I love the guy, I didn't want him to be in the picture. I walked myself out of her room and into my room. I was exhausted. I laid in bed replaying everything that just happened and tried to figure these emotions out.