C Y N O S U R E

[ prologue ]

My heart thumped with the music. I twirled Marisa as expertly as I can, her blonde curls hitting my face with a smack! The silk cloud surrounding her brushes against my pants. She's smiling her perfect smile, the one that makes the boys go wild. It isn't warm, nor is it friendly. It's more of an attempt at seduction. As she pulls me in, her fake nails are digging into my back. I force a smile to show that I am completely enjoying this. Except I'm not. She looks at me from under her fluttery lashes, the green flecks in her blue eyes looking alien. She nudges my arm, signalling that I should rest my hand higher her torso. Right now, it's dangerously close to her breasts, and no way am I touching those. The boys around are willing to do anything to be in my position right now. I wish I could tell them: "It sucks. A lot."

Finally, oh finally, the song stops. I let go of her and make a beeline to the drinks table. Gulping down the sickishly sweet punch, I think about how horrible this decision is. I should have gone with those geeky girls. At least they don't have 3-inch nails that stab you, or swishy hair that gets in your mouth because of all the twirling. They don't have annoyingly shrill laughs, or gowns that take up more space than about ten people.

Or maybe that girl I actually asked out. I don't officially know her. She's my lab partner, and I was paired with her because she pays attention. She smiles at me, she greets me in the morning, she mixes chemicals for me. Honestly, she's perfect.

Well okay, I'll admit I stalked her for a while. When I say that I stalked her, I mean hiring someone from my tiny group of friends (acquaintances, more likely. That I paid.) to find out what he can about her. Last Tuesday, the assigned stalker handed me a thick manila folder as discreetly as he could. In other words, he burst into homeroom, waving the folder above his head, shouting, "Yo, man! Here is all I dug up about that piece of sweetness who mixes chemicals for you!"

It was sorta weird seeing him saying those words while dressed in the most pristine slacks and wool long-sleeved plaid sweater. With the hugest pair of real glasses that I have seen pushed up his pimple-speckled nose. Needless to say, I tried to hide my shame as he pressed the folder into my hands, by slinking lower into my chair and zipping my hoodie up as high as it could.

And all I found out about her was her last name. Also where she takes her saxophone lessons. The stupid folder contained papers about her family, where their name came from, etcetera. It was a waste of thirty bucks.

While a flock of guys circle Marisa, I escape into the field where we have Phys. Ed. It doesn't smell like roses or perfume here, there are no lights to blind me, no deafening music. Peace. Solemnity. Serenity. Insert synonym for peace here. The stars are muted by the lights of the city, but the moon is bright in its splendor. The music is still vibrating in my veins, yet it seems so distant now. I sit myself down on the bleachers by the chain-link fence and savor whatever time I have before I'm dragged back in there. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a figure move across the field. I ignore it, since I know that night-shift janitors are moving around at this sort of event.

I watch the fairy lights dotting the trees light up slowly in succession. My fingers fiddle with my cuffs, impulsively removing and clipping on the cuff links. Leaves are crackling again, louder, closer. I can feel my heart skip a beat, but I disregard it. Until the moment a head pops out beside me. I jump an inch and clutch at my heart, trying to calm it.

"Hey!" the head says in a light, cheerful voice. She comes over and sits down on the bleachers a row below me. Her black hair is pulled away from her face in a neat bun studded with what looks like tiny stars. I stare at her face, glowy and a soft peach, with warm brown eyes, and a pink mouth. She's the sort of person that doesn't need makeup. I couldn't recognize her, until she leans towards me and I smell jasmine. It's her. My lab partner.

"I swear, if you do that again, I'll die," I say, and finally let go of my chest. A smile spreads across her face, and in the gentle light of the fairy lights and the moon, she looks like an angel. Her simple white dress catches the flicker of the lights, and she radiates wonder.

I try not to look at her for too long, so I go back to fiddling with my cuff links. "You said you weren't coming," I say as if she has betrayed me.

"Well, I'm here now. I guess prom doesn't happen twice in a lifetime," she replies.

"Yes it does," I retort.

"Whatever." Her voice is uncaring, like her statement, and she rolls her eyes to add stress to the not caring part.

We sit there for a while, watching the prom go on, listening to the drone of crickets, letting the music pound through us without hearing much of the song. Looking up to the stars, I am wishing like a little girl. Please, please, please. Just for tonight.

The moment a slow song goes on, she stands up and faces me. Her hand extends and I take it. She pulls me off the bleachers and into the gynasium. I flinch again at the atmosphere of the party. But she smiles and everything is all right.

She comes closer. I gingerly hold her. She is close enough to feel my heart thumping. My hands are trembling slightly, so she whispers to me, "I'm nervous too."

I can feel my soul lift ever so slightly. I spin her, and as I'm ready to catch her, to hold her again, someone snatches her by the waist. Stopping, she looks at the interrupter. Then her whole face lights up, then her arms are around the guy. He's hugging her back. I slowly lower my arms, and I can feel my heart dropping too.

She walks over to me, all flushed and excited. She introduces the guy as her boyfriend, Will. I know him. He's a jock who has straight A's on his report card. Someone I can never compare to. He brings her closer to him, and whispers something to her. She turns to me and excuses herself. They're going home. I nod, and watch as they walk out the gymnasium. She stops, turns, and waves goodbye. I wave back. She continues walking. I hang my head and breathe deeply.

Tonight I had my first dance with Dalia, the disaster that made my heart smile.

beautiful trailer by @escapism- :>