His Scars

Scaring Nurse Laura

"You should really get your car cleaned."

Laura and I were now standing in front of my car as I was trying to move rubbish from her seat.

I turn my head to look at her."You know, you could help."

"Well I could... Or I could drive and you could sit there."
I roll my eyes.
"Maybe later, like after you have proven you can drive without crashing a car."
"Hey! That was one time!"
"And you destroyed your Dads favourite car."
"I only scratched the front!"
"Looked like more than a scratch to me." I say under my breath.
By this time I had finished cleaning the seat and was now very ready to go home.

"Okay, hop in."

I go around the car and jump in the drivers seat as Laura hops in the passenger side.
I hand her the AUX cord without talking and starts playing music, though sometimes we fight its never serious and only ever lasts five minutes.

The entire way back to my house we are singing as loud as we can, ignoring the sleepy onlookers.

We get back to 'la casa di mio' and go inside.
Laura immediately finds Dan (for once where I left him) and picks him up, cradling him in her strong arms.

"He's so cute! I wish I had a cat."
"You'd probably cuddle them to death."
Laura considers this for a second.
"Yeah probably."
"If you did have a cat though, what would you name it?"
"I don't know, probably Novalee."
"Novalee? Where'd you pull that name from?" "Yo Mumma!"
"Really?"

I go over to her and give Dan a stroke from his ears down his back to his tail, smoothing his stripy, mottled brown fur. He yawns and I suddenly realise how tired I am.

I yawn myself and stretch my arms, careful not to hit the low hanging light.
"Well, Laura, I'm tired, so you can sleep in the spare room."
"Fine, but only if Dan sleeps with me."

I can see in her eyes she's also tired and is only using Dan as an excuse not to go home, even though I feel like she lives here sometimes.

"Fine, just don't complain when you wake up with mouse entrails over your face."

I walk out before she can reply but hear her say to Dan, "If you do bring in a mouse I swear to God I will defenestrate you."

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I regret letting Laura take Dan, it leaves me alone with my thoughts.

I lie in bed tossing around and can't get over what happened with that man at Drumsticks.

"Why was I staring at that guy?"
"Did I think he was attractive?"
"Was it obvious? Laura did notice."
"Am I gay?"
"No! I was just an appreciation of the human body!"
"But was it? Or was it a sexual feeling?"
"Well... I don't think so...."
"Are you still attracted to girls?"
"Yes, well... I think so?"
"Maybe you're bi?"
"I haven't been attracted to any girl for a long time."
"Are you sure you're not gay, you fit the character very well."
"I do not!"
"Well you're flamboyant, have a cat, live in a colourful house, mainly have girl friends and stare at guys arses."
"That's stereotypical!"

These thoughts seem to swirl around in my head for hours, stopping me from sleeping and making me even more tired and insecure.
I feel the voices pushing me into a tiny hole I've created, pushing me deeper and deeper, feeling smaller and smaller. I seem to be getting hotter and the voices louder until they all seem to be screaming at me in unison.

"Gay, gay, gay Gay Gay GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY!"

I sit up and try to cover my ears to try to block out the screaming but it still only gets louder and louder. I can't take it.
I scream as loud as I can.
I hear footsteps through the screaming and feel cool fingers wrap around my wrists.
Everything seems to go into a trance and the screaming softens, and gets smaller and smaller until it's only a whisper at the back of my mind, a tiny stain that won't leave my flesh any time soon. But for now, it's settled.

Still in a trance I open my eyes and see Lauras worried face before mine, her dark brown eyes studying me.

"What happened?"
She asks in a quiet voice.
I don't know.
I feel like I'm underwater, everything around me is hot but her hands on my wrist, I try to focus on it, draw strength from it. The cold burns through me and the water around me freezes.
I wake up.

Laura's inches from my my face, looking worried, which worries me.
"What?" I ask in a raspy voice, still not quite understanding what happened.

"Are you okay?" She says more slowly, "What happened?"

I try to think.
"A bad dream I think, although I'm not sure if I've had any sleep tonight."
She doesn't believe me but must obviously realise this isn't the time to ask.

"Well, whatever it was, you scared the shits outa me, I was ready to come in and break someone's nose." She says putting here hands on her hips.
I laugh, sounding a bit to forced.
"I fine now, so nurse Laura, you can go back to your sleep."
She laughs.
"Okay then."

She's walking then looks over her shoulder, "Just don't do it again, you scared Dan away."

She's just out the door when I say "Wait! Thank you."
She must understand there's hidden meanings in what I'm saying and says, "No problem." And walks back to her room.

And I'm left alone with my mind once again.

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Sorry it took so long to publish this chapter, I'm pretty new to this and am still trying to work out a schedule, but thanks for staying with me 😊😊😊

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~O