Stay Out

part one - I think

First entry--
August 29, 2015
Saturday
4:24 am

Emotion--
Anger/sadness/exhaustion

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I'm beginning to think about something. I'm losing it. I'm beginning to think I may be indeed ligitimately going crazy. Insane. I'm beginning to think I'm really actually crazy. I just.....don't know. Anything. There's simply too much emotion to fit on a paper, far too much thaught to fill a book. If I'm not crazy, I'm sad. I'm extremely angry. Beyond words. Depressed. Fearful. Or simply insane.

I have NO IDEA who I am. If I am. I'm so lost and afraid. So alone and confused. Scared. Stuck. Insane. Why is everyone so different and...apart from me? Maybe, I'm apart from them. Yeah. That's just it. I'm probably the one the people see as the freak. Yeah. I'm losing it. Me. I'm insane. I need help.

But I don't want it. Maybe I don't need it. No. I do. I need it. But I won't have it. I can't do this. Anything. I hate this. Everything. People. All of them. Except one. They'll always hurt you in the "end". Every last one of them.

Crazy.

Insane.

There's no one out there who thinks like me. Maybe that's it. Maybe it's that I'm the only one. Maybe that's why I'm crazy.
Maybe I'm not even crazy.
Maybe I'm right.
Never mind.
I'm completely crazy. Overly paranoid. Insane, I am. Totally, completely, ligitimately...INSANE.

Why is it like this? Why do I over think? Why do I hurt myself? Why am I like this? Crazy. I have no one to talk to, so I write. No one to be happy towards, so I'm angry. No one to help me, so I cry. No way to stop the internal pain, so I hurt myself.

This world's tearing me apart. I'm having trouble standing here on my own. I need help.

-Jayden S. S.

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Thanks for reading this. This entry was written as the others to come, with complete emotion. If you understand or can relate, see a doctor. You may need it as much as I, myself may need it.

THE END
OF PART ONE
Thank you