12 Reasons To Die

1. Judith Blake

As a seventeen year old girl I shouldn't be feeling this way. Depressed, alone, afraid. But I do. And no matter how hard I try I can't change the way I feel. It's like the darkness is consuming me, eating me up until there's nothing left of myself except memories.

A lot of people in my position have no friends and their parents abuse them, but not me. My parents love me unconditionally, or at least I assume so. They go out every night to parties and leave me alone at home. These parties that they go to are not clubs and rednecks going crazy, it's those fancy parties where you spend three thousand dollars on a dress that you're only going to wear once.

My group of friends consists of only three of us. Victoria Whales, Ingrid Frances, and myself Judith Blake. They don't know about my 'condition' as I like to call it, I would rather keep it to myself for Victoria and Ingrid both are very judgmental.

So here I am laying on my bed on a Sunday night. My parents were at another one of their parties. Boredom over takes me so I think of what can entertain me. Homework? No, I'm just going to drop out soon anyways since I'm such a failure. Something finally pops into my mind that excites me.

I walk into my bathroom which is connected to my bedroom and search through the many drawers. Finally finding what I am looking for I grab the shiny metal object in my hand and look closely at it. It's new. I haven't used this one before.

I shut the door and lock it just in case my parents come home early.

I think of every world I've been called in my life and began slicing my skin.

"Ugly." One cut.

"Fat." There's two.

I think of what someone told me on my Instagram last night. "Kill yourself." This time I press harder than ever into my skin. Blood pours out rapidly onto the counter and I feel a little light headed.

I walk towards my bathtub and fill it up with ice cold water. After stripping myself bare, I sit in the tub tears beginning to roll down my face. Why did everyone gang up on me? I never hurt anyone physically or verbally. All anyone at school does is make fun of me. And my parents are hardly around for me to talk to about this. Victoria and Ingrid are extremely judgmental and exclusive I honestly don't even know why I'm friends with them. I'm literally left with no one.

After what seems like hours I get out of the bathtub and grab a red towel to wrap myself in. I put on my undergarments and my pajamas and lay on my bed. I cry myself to sleep to dream of a happier universe where I was surrounded with encouraging people.

--

Hi guys!

This is a new fanfic and I know it's short and doesn't tell you much about anything but trust me next chapter is going to be juicyyyyyyyyyyy

This is a Harry Styles fanfic just so y'all know. And feel free to comment anything that you want, whether it be corrections, ideas, or something funny lol

This story is also based on true events of myself and I'll tell y'all when anything comes up that associates with that.

So please share and vote because I really do love writing I just have such a hard time with gaining popularity and active readers.

Thank You
-AAE