My mom thinks you're just a memory.
Something that can't hurt me anymore.
She says you're nothing but a faint scratch in the past and I shouldn't worry about it because it doesn't sting anymore , because the thought of you has become numb to me .
She likes to belive that my pain left when the bruises on my sides started desapearing and the smell of you left my body
She doesn't know that you're memory burns in my brain
Sizzling and turning everything into ashes .
She doesn't know that I still hear you're voice every where i go and I see a little bit of you in every man I look at.
That sometimes I see you out of the corner of my eye, shadowing my every step . And that I swear I feel you when I'm alone , how I sense that you're waiting and lurking to take the light out of someone else .
If I tell her these things she'll think I'm crazy
She'll say it's in my head and that you're gone .
But I fear you are like the wind clear and invisible but still palpable , covering every inch of me .
I breathe you in
And I choke you out
I breathe you in
And I throw you out
I breathe you in but
You get stuck in my lungs
And I can't get you out
You're embedded in everything I do
So I do nothing.
Accept pretend that I'm happy .
Pretend that you're finger tips are not burned into my body , pretend that I don't smell you when I see beer bottles and dark alleys and that I can breathe when I'm by myself .
But most of all I pretend that you're not burned into my memory , Sizzling and turning everything into ashes.
~ Me♡
